Actual Prodcut Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

96 Results for Actual Prodcut

View 71 - 80 results for actual prodcut comic strips. Discover the best "Actual Prodcut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions

View Transcript

Transcript

Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts ad agency, #research, #don't use prodcut, #outdoors, #indoors, #intensive ad campaign, #outdoors for losers, #humming birds, #man in garden, #happiness of gullible people, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert's ad agency" Dogbert stands on a table holding a pointer. Dogbert says to The Boss and Dilbert, "According to my research..." Dogbert says, "...People don't use your products when they are outdoors." Dogbert gestures to The Boss, "Somehow we must keep people indoors." Dogbert flips a page on a display notepad. Dogbert says, "I recommend an intensive ad campaign..." Dogbert continues..."Featuring this slogan..." The pad reads, 'Outdoors is for losers.' Dpgbert says to Alice, Dilbert and The Boss, "The tv spot will show humming-birds attacking a man in his garden." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Wouldn't that destroy the happiness of gullible people?" Dogbert says, "We'll tell them it doesn't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #written in stone, #actual stone, #stone tablet

View Transcript

Transcript

We're supposed to have our budget approved by Tuesday but that's not written in stone. "Yes it is. I have it right here." "It was kind of lucky because this is the only one I brought to the meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

We might need to restate our earnings. "It turns out that we're not allowed to make up numbers." "Did you know that 'frillion' isn't an actual number?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #gadgets, #competitor, #out of business, #next prodcut, #predictable mediocrity, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news! Our biggest competitor just went out of business! There was so much anticipation for their next product that no one bought the current one and they ran out of money. Alice: Our strategy of predictable mediocrity paid off again. Boss: It's okay to call it genius.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial bakery, #abuse, #zero units, #cook books, #foot notes, #smell like feet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to 'Dogbert's Financial Bakery.' How may I abuse you?" A man says, "We shipped zero units this quarter. Can you cook our books?" Dogbert says, "Of course." The man says, "Will anyone know?" Dogbert says, "Sometimes the footnotes smell like actual feet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #yelling, #scared, #confused, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I have an actual job and I don't live at home." Dilbert says, "My offspring would probably be smart." Woman says, "My palms are getting sweaty and my heart is pounding. What is going on?" Dilbert says, "It's a Darwinian thing." Woman says, "Make it stop!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #explaining, #angry, #confronting, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Last week I attended the circle of excellence conference for managers." Alice says, "So, while we were doing actual work, you sat in a circle with a bunch of managers?" The boss says, "It wasn't like that." Alice says, "Oh, I think it was."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoidance, #noise, #concentration, #presentation, #laziness, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "My cubicle is surrounded by loud idiots who make it impossible for me to concentrate on my work." The Boss says, "Did you create a presentation on why you couldn't do the presentation you're supposed to be doing?" Wally says, "Yes" The Boss says, "Wouldn't it have been just as easy to create the actual presentation?" Wally says, "I'm hoping to use this this one more than once."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #accomplish, #week, #fantasy, #time magazine, #entrepreneurial, #real job, #motion to head, #powerpoint slides, #horror, #real life, #kill, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, what did you accomplish this week?" Dilbert says, "I doubled my sales and made the cover of Time magazine." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Oh. Whoops. Sorry." Dilbert says, "For a moment there I confused my entrepreneurial fantasty life with my real job." Dilbert says, "I run a parallel career in my mind. In that world, I'm the founder of a hot start-up."B<R>Dilbert says, "It keeps my brain from fully realizing the horror of my actual career and trying to kill the rest of my body." Dilbert says, "But to answer you original question, this week I made some powerpoint slides that have no particular use." Dilbert says, "GAAA!!! My brain is trying to kill the rest of my body!" The Boss says, "Moving on..."