All Employees Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

579 Results for All Employees

View 71 - 80 results for all employees comic strips. Discover the best "All Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #after 5 club, #select group, #employees, #creative ideas, #club for people, #during business hours, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, who is seated at his computer, "Wally, you are invited to my new 'after-5 club.'" The Boss says, "A select group of employees will meet after work to think of creative ideas." Wally turns to The Boss and says, "Is there a club for people who know how to think during business hours?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scrap paper, #employees, #put in hat, #makes comforatble, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Write on a scrap of paper the names of employees who do great work and put them in the hat in my office." Asok says, "And then do you select one name each week to receive valuable rewards?" The Boss says, "No, the scraps of paper make my hat more comfortable."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #pdas for employees, #business trips, #palm pilot california, #cheap, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. The boss says, "The company will not buy PDA's for employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Will you still pay for business trips of no discernible value?" The boss replies, "Of course." The boss is thinking, "A lot of people are traveling to Palm Pilot California lately."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best employees, #world, #refuse to work, #low pay, #improve morale

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss has a sheet of paper and a pen on the table. The boss says: "We have the best employees in the world..." The boss says: "...not counting the people who refuse to work here because the pay is so low." The boss thinks while writing something: "Improve morale... done." Wally and Dilbert look away.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #customer questions, #working conditions, #inhumane, #innocent employees

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions. Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane. Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees. The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #call center, #inhumane conditions, #employees, #guilty, #acting under orders, #demonize, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees. ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it. I might need your help to demonize them. Dogbert: Im all over it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees fertilizer, #management, #organism, #plant, #survive and grow, #weasels, #dogbert consults

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Dogbert Consults." The Boss is leaning back in his chair and listening to Dogbert who is standing on the Boss's desk. Dogbert advises: "Management is like an organism that needs to survive and grow." He continues: "Employees are your fertilizer." The Boss asks: "So I'm like a well-fertilized plant?" Dogbert answers: "No, and sadly, weasels don't need fertilizer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorant, #intranet collaboration, #sign it, #their ignorance, #tools, #dogbert consults, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

As a consultant, Dogbert says to the Boss "All of your employees are ignorant." Dobgert continues, "I can fix that by selling you intranet collaboration tools." The Boss says to Dgbert in an uneasy voice, "But if they're sharing their ignorance..." Dogbert thinks to himself, "Sign it, sign it, sign it..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poach employees, #leave comapny, #wink wink, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm not allowed to poach employees if I leave this company." The Boss continues as he winks at Dilbert, "But there's no law against you asking me for a job...wink...wink." The Boss begins yelling, "I'm not going to wink all day you moron!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion dollar business plan, #sec investigates, #securities fraud, #hancuffed, #employees singing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol's desk and asks, "Have you finished my billion dollar business plan yet?" Carol answers, "Almost." Carol continues, "I'm up to the part where the S.E.C. investigates you for securities fraud." Carol says to the Boss, "I can't decide what the employees will be singing when you get handcuffed."