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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #fur, #store, #dog, #spelling, #Dogbert, #store front, #bad, #fur sale

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Dogbert stands on the sidewalk holding a sign that says "Fur is Murder." There is a "Fur Sale" sign in the store behind him. The proprietor asks, "What's yer problem with my store, dog?" Dogbert replies, "I oppose the sale of fur." The storekeeper says, "I'm not selling fur. The whole store is 'fur sale.'" Dogbert says, "I oppose bad spelling too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #cure, #headaches, #oversleeping, #bad, #thing, #ten, #a.m, #lampside, #table

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Dilbert lies in bed looking at the alarm clock. He thinks, "Ten A.M. already?" Dilbert stands up and rubs his head. Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . Now I've got one of those headaches from oversleeping. Only one cure . . ." Back in his bed, Dilbert thinks, "You can't get too much of a bad thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #sod, #wilson, #flogging, #dead, #hourses, #internal, #bureaucracy, #gouge, #customers, #attitude, #bad

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The Boss: It's going to be another year of flogging dead horses. But somehow we'll muddle through our internal bureaucracy, gouge our customers, and keep getting our tiny paychecks. Dilbert: Sir, Wilson turned into a clump of uninspired sod. The Boss: It's just as well; he had a bad attitude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #pump ad dump, #newsletter, #traded stocks, #disclose holdings, #bad stocks, #honest msitakes, #stock picker, #money

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Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #trip, #ugly, #stranger, #technique, #wont, #self-help, #book

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Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #morale, #building, #experiment, #slap, #fly swatter, #feel, #better

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss stands behind him holding a fly swatter. The Boss says, "Hold still. I'm going to try a morale-building experiment." The Boss slaps Dilbert on the back of his head. The Boss walks away saying, "Thanks. I feel a lot better." Dilbert looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pants, #clothes, #dresser, #bad, #robot, #wrong, #underpants, #drapes

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A robot enters wearing overalls and says to Dilbert, "I made some pants out of the clothes in your dresser." Dilbert shakes his finger and says, "Bad robot!! I want you to tell me why what you did was wrong." The robot pulls his underwear out of his pants and says, "It's not wrong. I remembered to make underpants out of the drapes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #insecure, #insult, #thin, #sexy, #whale, #bad, #hairdo

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Dogbert walks outdoors thinking, "It's easy to make insecure people insult themselves." Dogbert says to a woman, "Good morning, ma'am. You look thin and sexy today!" The woman replies, "Sexy?! Ha! I'm a whale . . . A whale with a bad hairdo!" Dogbert walks away humming and thinking, "Next."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #plastic surgery, #personalities, #bad, #pretend, #other, #communicate, #begging, #trouble

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Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #beaver, #Dogbert, #shortcuts, #tricks, #work, #daytime, #planner, #organize, #efficiently, #sit, #bad

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Beaver: When you're a lazy beaver, you try to find shortcuts and tricks to get your work done. I got this daytime planner to organize my day efficiently. But all it does is sit there. Dogbert: Looks like you got a bad one.