Annihilates Stupid Part Comic Strips - Page 8
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473 Results for Annihilates Stupid Part
View 71 - 80 results for annihilates stupid part comic strips. Discover the best "Annihilates Stupid Part" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 26,
2005
Tags #quality estimates, #arm, #torso, #stupid elbow, #forgetful, #yelling, #bearting, #holding document, #senior moments
Transcript
The boss: "Alice, where are the quality estimates that I asked you for an hour ago?" "It's between your left arm and your stout torso, about elbow-high." "Stupid elbow."
Saturday March 04,
2006
Tags #wise king salmon, #fish are stupid, #project, #right or wrong
Transcript
"We could do the project right for $100,000 or do it wrong for $25,000." "I believe that the wise King Salmon would say to split the difference and do it for $50,000." "Fish are stupid."
Tuesday April 11,
2006
Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special
Transcript
I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."
Sunday April 30,
2000
Tags #dogcart consults, #software has bugs, #repackaging, #rust inhibitor, #error messages, #people aren't stupid, #they are, #spit when type
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."
Tuesday August 07,
2012
Tags #recessions, #regular interns, #interns intern, #no pay, #semi relevant job experience, #slap you, #no reason, #stupid economy
Transcript
Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.
Sunday October 28,
2012
Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking
Transcript
Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.
Thursday February 21,
2008
Tags #explanation for working, #malicious, #prove stupid, #unemployment benefits, #working
Transcript
Catbert: Wally, I have to fire you for posting a comic comparing managers to drunken lemurs. You won't be eligible for unemployment benefits unless you can prove you were stupid as opposed to malicious. Can you prove you're stupid? Wally: Is thereanother explanation for working here?"
Tuesday July 15,
2008
Tags #brain, #part of brain, #controls morality, #the natural, #glows from within
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My doctor says everything is fine except for the part of my brain that controls morality." The Boss says, "Gasp! The management prophesies are true. You must be the one they call..." Catbert says, "THE NATURAL?!!" The Boss says, "He glows from within."
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Thursday September 25,
2008
Tags #director of green, #turn off computer, #stupid
Transcript
Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."