Bad Time Management Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for bad time management comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Time Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #a bad day, #a worse day, #a much worse day, #ne job online, #trying to fill, #unqaulified

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Headline: A Bad Day. Dilbert stands in front of his computer and says, "Maybe it's time to look for a new job online." Headline: A Worse Day. Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Hey, that's my job they're trying to fill." Headline: A Much Worse Day. Dilbert sits in his cubicle and says, "And I'm unqualified."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead

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The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #share cubicle, #date you, #incredible time together, #if it didn't work

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"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #bad computer, #designed to be slower, #unrelaible, #defragment, #disk drive

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"Dogbert's Tech Support " You have a bad case of computer rot." "Your computer is designed to become slower and more unreliable over time so you have to upgrade." "But if you'd like some false hope, I can tell you to defragment your disk drive."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #bad job, #new assignment, #poor job, #matching skills, #business

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Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #interviews, #tattoos & body marking, #job interview, #face tattoo, #overeating, #bad idea, #people can see, #dont interview well

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Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #irony, #managers & supervisors, #interface, #finished, #started, #micromanagement, #bad reputation, #optimistic, #business

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Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #moral compass broken, #nun, #ceo, #scientist, #burning building, #bidding war, #science

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Catbert says, "I can't put you on the management fast track until I confirm that your moral compass is broken." Catbert says, "A nun, a CEO and a scientist are in a burning building. You can only save one of them. Which one do you save?" Dilbert says, "Is there time for a bidding war?" Catbert says, "Oh, you're good."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fix control management system, #long time, #meeting, #leadership, #timeline, #failure, #annoyed, #blame others, #business

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The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #lying, #work ethic, #wasting time options, #two options, #truth or lie, #pin blame, #faster to hear lie, #document is perfect, #assign balme, #later say misinterpreted

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Woman says, "Dilbert, your boss asked me to get your input on this." Dilbert says, "Absolutely, Ruth." Dilbert says, "We have two options for wasting our time here." Dilbert says, "Option one: I could tell you all of the things you should change, and you could ignore me as usual." Dilbert says, "Option two: I could lie, and tell you that everything is perfect." Woman says, "I prefer the lie. That way I can pin some blame on you if things go bad." Dilbert says, "Excellent choice. It's faster, and I can later say I was misinterpreted." Dilbert says, "Okay then, I declare that your document is perfect, under a certain set of assumptions that I won't list." The Boss says, "Did you help Ruth?" Dilbert says, "I'll say yes, but it's sort of a gray area."