Banana Eating Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

164 Results for Banana Eating

View 71 - 80 results for banana eating comic strips. Discover the best "Banana Eating" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #disguise arousal, #jerk magnet, #talk to death, #turkey deceased, #sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Tina says, "I always fall for the wrong guys. I'm a jerk magnet." Dilbert says, "Tina, the turkey in your sandwich is already deceased. You don't have to talk it to death." Tina clenches her teeth and her fists. She thinks, "I must disguise my arousal." Dilbert says, "Hey, look! We're eating exactly the same quantities for lunch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #come back, #manager, #moron, #promotions, #raises, #leaving company

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "When I was your age, we had things called 'promotions' and 'raises.'" Alice continues, "These days you can only get ahead by leaving the company for a year then coming back as a high-level manager." Asok says, "So the theory must be that anyone who would return to this company is . . ." Alice answers, "A moron. Correct."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #hr director, #new policy, #travel separate flights, #dangerous hobbies

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on the back of Wally's chair. He says, "New policy: Key employees must travel on separate flights to reduce risk." Catbert sits on Wally's head and continues, "Other employees, such as Wally, are encouraged to take up dangerous hobbies." Wally sits at a table with Alice and Dilbert eating lunch. Wally says, "I've noticed that when a new policy mentions me by name, it's never a good thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #technical, #perspective, #cafeteria, #management, #track, #oridnary, #executives, #lunch, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from a man's desk. The man says, "Thanks for your time, Dilbert. It's always good to get the technical perspective." Dilbert says, "Hey, it's lunchtime. Would you like to join me in the cafeteria?" The man replies, "Ooh . . . No, I couldn't do that." The man explains, "I'm on the management track, so I can't be seen eating lunch with you." The man continues, "If I'm seen with an ordinary employee then people will think I'm ordinary." The man continues, "I'd like to eat with the senior executives, but of course they don't want to be seen with me." The man slides under his desk and says, "So I've perfected a method of slipping quietly away at lunch time." Dilbert turns to the reader and says, "The scary part is that someday that man will be my boss."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #chips, #hear, #latest, #brain, #research, #proven, #stimulation, #conscious, #absurd, #rationalizations, #random, #interaction, #arguably, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on the hassock eating potato chips. Dogbert says, "Hi, Ratbert, may I have some chips?" Ratbert answers, "No, sorry. There are only enough for one." Dogbert asks, "Did you hear about the latest brain research?" Dogbert says, "Science has proven that the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought doesn't show any stimulation until AFTER you act." Dogbert continues, "That means you never make conscious decisions; all you do is rationalize what you've done after the fact." Dogbert continues, "Your life is nothing but a series of absurd rationalizations for the random interaction of chemicals in your brain." Ratbert starts blinking. Ratbert falls over, drops the bag of chips and screams, "Aaagh!!! My life is absurd!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock eating the chips. He says, "That was mean, but aruguably I couldn't control myself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1997's comic on:


Tags #third date, #vendor, #client, #obligated, #feisty, #oysters, #sale first, #kill client

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and a vendor are eating lunch at a restaurant and are looking at the menu. Wally says, "Do you realize this is our third date?" The vendor (a woman) says, "We're not dating. I'm a vendor and you're my client." The vendor says, "You always say the only time we can meet is during lunch. That way I'm obligated to pay for it." The waitress brings them glasses of water. Wally says, "You're feisty. I'd better get the oysters." The vendor makes an angry grimmace and thinks, "Make sale first. Then kill client."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stack of paper, #cubicle cop, #body, #enrolled, #workshop, #temporary solution, #three days

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I heard that a stack of your papers fell over and killed a cubicle cop." Alice says, "What did you do with the body?" Wally says, "I enrolled it in the quality workshop nextdoor." Dilbert says, "It's a temporary solution." Wally says, "The workshop is only three days."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #huge risk, #entrepreneur, #denail, #archival, #ceo, #humane, #bonuses

View Transcript

Transcript

In the company cafeteria, Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I'd quit and become and entrepreneur, but I don't know how they handle such huge risks." Wally, his mouth full of food, says, "Denial, probably." Alice walks up with her lunch tray and says, "We got bought by our archrival this morning." Alice sits down and says, "Their CEO says he plans to be as 'humane' as possible." Dilbert says, "He sounds nice." Wally says, 'Maybe we'll get bonuses!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #going forward basis, #time travel, #concept of time, #boss understnds, #got lucky

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss leans against a desk or table and says to Dilbert, "I suggest that you deal with the issue on a going forward basis." Dilbert says, "Thanks for ruling out time travel. You're usually not that helpful." In the cafeteria, Alice, Wally and Dilbert are eating lunch. Alice says, "Are you saying he understands the concept of 'time' now?" Dilbert says, "Or he just got lucky on this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #loans, #funding, #scam artist, #dogbert on tv, #people believe

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at home watching television. Dogbert's infomercial is on tv. Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Would you like to make $1,000 per month for a whole year?" Dogbert says, "Send $13,000 for complete information about Dogbert no-load funds." An individual is furiously writing the information down as Dobert says, "I'll include my free pamphlet explaining how to lose weight by eating less food." The guy thinks, "Show the number."