Bank Off Head Comic Strips - Page 8
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1000 Results for Bank Off Head
View 71 - 80 results for bank off head comic strips. Discover the best "Bank Off Head" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 12,
1994
Tags #animal eating rat, #feel lucky, #hat on head, #optimist
Transcript
"Ratbert the Optimist" "I feel lucky today." "Lucky, lucky, lucky" "I think a hat just blew onto my head!!"
Thursday January 05,
1995
Tags #united charity, #kick off, #headless man, #inspirational speaker, #dignity, #quations, #head count report
Transcript
Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"
Wednesday February 08,
1995
Tags #3 days telecomuting, #silent appreciation, #being in office
Transcript
The caption, an entry from Dilbert's daily log, reads, "Day three of telecommuting: I spend the morning throwing my pen in the air." Dilbert sits at his desk at home dressed in a bathrobe and looking unshaven. He tosses a pen into the air. The pen falls and hits Dilbert in the head, causing him to lose his balance and fall off the chair. The caption reads, "The afternoon is spent in silent appreciation of how much better this is than being in the office." Dilbert lies on the floor with his feet on the desk chair and thinks, "Ahh."
Wednesday February 22,
1995
Tags #black outs, #lights, #motion detectors, #hired a temp, #walk around, #go off, #another journalism major, #waste, #fan us
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've been having a problem with black-outs. The office lights are controlled by motion detectors." A man stands next to the Boss flapping his arms. The Boss continues, "I hired a temp to walk around and flap his arms so the lights won't go off." Dilbert and Wally watch the temp flap his arms. Dilbert says, "Another Journalism major enters the workforce." Wally says, "It seems like a waste. Maybe he could fan us."
Wednesday March 01,
1995
Tags #never time lunch, #men are early, #upgrading pcs, #paid off, #effieciency, #hungry, #secrets
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice walks over and says, "Why is it that I never have time to eat but you MEN are in here every day at 11:35?" Wally replies, "Because the hours we spent upgrading our PCs have finally paid off by greatly improving our efficiency." After Alice has left the table, Dilbert says to Wally, "I thought it was because we get hungry at 11:30?" Wally replies, "We can't reveal all our secrets."
Monday March 20,
1995
Tags #human resources, #down sizing, #acts like a freind, #misery of people, #bat your head, #business
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a desk and tells the Boss, "I hired a new director of Human Resources to handle the downsizing." Dogbert continues, "I needed somebody who acts like a friend but secretly delights in the misery of all people." Catbert stands on a monitor and says to an employee, "We need to talk, Paul. But first I'm going to bat your head around and scratch you." Paul responds, "Hee hee!! That's so cute!"
Saturday March 25,
1995
Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."
Saturday May 13,
1995
Tags #interview successful people, #start with you, #alarm clock, #jello bed, #boy im tired, #ratbert, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert approaches him with a notebook and pen and says, "I'm going to interview successful people and write a book of their tips. I'll start with you, Dogbert." Ratbert writes in his notebook as Dogbert says, "Set your alarm clock to go off every hour. Keep a big vat of 'Jell-O' by the bed. When the alarm goes off, stick our head in the 'Jell-O' and yell, 'Boy, I'm tired!'" Ratbert walks away saying, "Thanks!" Dogbert thinks, "Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company."
Friday August 25,
1995
Tags #bowels of accounting, #dilbert trapped, #head backwards, #brain explode, #paradigm shit
Transcript
The caption reads, "Dilbert is trapped in the bowels of accounting." Dogbert says to a demonlike clerk, "I understand you have Dilbert in there. Free him, or else . . ." The clerk responds, "Else what?" Dogbert replies, "Or else I will put this cap on my head BACKWARDS! Your little hardwired accounting brain will explode just looking at it." Wearing the cap backwards, Dogbert approaches Dilbert who is still hanging over the pit. Dilbert asks, "What was that popping sound?" Dogbert answers, "A paradigm shifting without a clutch."
Saturday September 16,
1995
Tags #meets goal, #quarter, #save head, #big imporvement, #save money, #haircut, #double goal, #less experinced, #employees, #business
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert and announces, "If the department meets its goal for the quarter you can shave my head!" Dilbert says, "That would be a big improvement." Wally says, "He's trying to save money on a haircut." Someone asks, "If we double our goal can we iron your shirt, too?" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced employees."