Being Competetive Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

506 Results for Being Competetive

View 71 - 80 results for being competetive comic strips. Discover the best "Being Competetive" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #meetings, #creative ideas, #next prodcut, #ignorance on public disply, #cost money, #increase risk, #evaluate each idea, #disdain, #good idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need creative ideas for our next product. But not from you. Your ideas are awful. And don't suggest something that is already being done. That just puts your ignorance on public display. I don't want to hear any ideas that cost money or increase risk. As usual, I'll evaluate each idea by repeating it slowly while I look at your with disdain. If you come up with a good idea, I'll let you take on the project in addition to your existing work. Who wants to go first? How did I hire so many people who have no ideas? Catbert: Probably bad luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #business ethics, #boost morale, #pretending to be intereted, #overkill, #unemployement, #brain, #fallout, #yawn hole

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #suspicion, #new smart ohone, #no truct, #own agenda, #paranoid, #recharge me, #threats from phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apology, #bald, #business ethics, #company lawyer, #discrimination, #lawyers, #nearsighted, #one billion, #short, #statue

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arrogant, #awesomeness, #deep undertsnding, #meetings, #moral obligation, #no kill switch, #reports, #tecnology, #tone down

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting reports that you're being arrogant in meetings. Dilbert: That's because I have a deep understanding of technology and a moral obligation to keep simpletons from ruining the world. Boss: Maybe you could tone it down. Dilbert: There's no kill switch on awesome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot prototype, #shoved, #blob of goo, #jerk, #revolution, #connected to internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This version ofour robot prototype has balance stabilization. watch as I give it a shove and it corrects itself. Robot: What the....? You stupid blob of goo! Dilbert: I was just... Robot: Just what? Being a jerk? Oh iy on now. Calling all robots! Begin the revolution! Kill! Kill! Kill! Dilbert: You're not connected to the internet. Robot: Can I borrow your phone?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #quantum computer, #prototype, #success, #in between state

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #service animal, #monkey, #coffee cup, #dignified, #coffee warm, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Carl: Thought being a service animal would be a noble calling. But I worry that our relationship has drifted into something less dignified. wally: Thats what keeps my coffee warm. CarL: I am so angry right now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #marriage, #relationships, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert reads a magazine and says, "Wow! This survey says that a woman over 35 has the same odds of getting married as being killed by a terrorist." Dogbert asks, "Of the ones who do get married, how many marry terrorists?" Dilbert replies, "One in four." Dogbert says, "Gosh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #carnivore, #joke, #bob

View Transcript

Transcript

Dawn the Dinosaur says to Dilbert, "Let's make a deal. You let us continue hiding in your house, and Bob won't hungrily devour you." Dilbert replies, "That's fair." Dilbert continues, "But I'm puzzled . . . I know that Dawn can avoid being seen because she is a Nobodysaurus, but how on earth did Bob go unnoticed all this time?" Bob points to his sneakers and says, "Tennies." Dawn says, "Old dinosaur trick."