Better Idea Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for better idea comic strips. Discover the best "Better Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losers, #bad ideas, #test a new idea, #research, #science

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Dilbert is dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and carries a Frisbee. He says, "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers." Dilbert throws the Frisbee while Dogbert watches it float away. Dilbert says, "It's always a good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they don't like it." Dogbert's Research Co. A man says to a woman, 'What a coincidence. We both lost three homes in flood zones." The woman is in love. Dogbert says, "Let's begin."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illogical scientist, #idea won't work, #religious nuts

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Alice is sitting at a table with her lap top computer and is writing something. Dan pulls up a chair and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist." Alice covers what she is writing. Dan says, "That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work." Alice says, "You haven't even looked at my idea." Dan says, "Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time to go, #working all night, #extra work, #not better off, #fixed mistakes, #duct tape, #chair, #uncanny, #duck tape cureall

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Dilbert says to a co-worker, "It's seven o'clock, Ed. Time to call it a night." Ed replies, "I'm planning to work all night." Ed explains, "I'm not very bright so I work long hours to compensate." Dilbert says, "Ed, we're not better off when you do extra work." Ed says, "I'm not quite following your logic." Alice and Wally stand behind Dilbert. Dilbert says, "We all worked late undoing what you did yesterday." Dilbert continues, "We voted to duct-tape you to your chair." As they tape Ed to his chair, Alice says, "It's uncanny how many problems you can solve with duct tape." Wally says, "Sometimes I use it instead of underwear."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss idea, #email system, #stupid idea, #universe, #debate is futile, #nuclear power, #good or evil

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. The Boss enters the room and says, "I've got an idea!" Dilbert and Wally think, "We're doomed." The Boss asks, "Why can't we run our inventory database over our e-mail system?" Dilbert thinks, "Fact: that is the stupidest idea in the universe." Wally thinks, "Fact: his comprehension is so limited that debate is futile." Dilbert and Wally both think, "Fact: we could spend hours unsuccessfully explaining why it's a stupid idea." Dilbert and Wally think, "Fact: he would never know if we used his idea or not." Dilbert says, "No problem." Wally says, "We'll get right on it." The Boss walks away thinking, "My work is done." Wally tells Dilbert, "Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil." Dilbert adds, "And you don't want to get any on you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #right on plan, #project, #bad idea, #senior mangement, #leadership, #widespread mockery, #lawyers, #purging, #gigantic failure, #forget, #mission statemnet, #literal interpretation

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My project is right on plan." Wally continues, "It began last week as a bad idea from somebody in senior management." Wally continues, "Thanks to my leadership, it is already an object of widespread mockery and derision." Wally continues, "As I speak, our lawyers are purging every last trace of value it might have had." Wally continues, "With luck, the project will be a gigantic failure in a month." Wally continues, "People will forget my failure and remember that I'm experienced. Promotions will follow. Yes!!" Wally concludes, "In six months I'll be dating an executive secretary named Yvonne." Dilbert says, "Good plan." The Boss asks, "Wally, have you ever read our mission statement?" Wally replies, "Yeah, but I don't subscribe to a literal interpretation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #serious threat, #competitors, #consultants, #eat our lunch, #executive comapny, #hired security guard, #lunches, #safe, #figure of speech, #better than usuaal, #cafeteria

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The Boss stands next to an overhead projector and says, "Last week our consultants warned us about a serious threat." The Boss continues, "They said our competitors would 'eat our lunch.'" The Boss continues, "I'm happy to tell the executive committee that I leapt into action." The Boss continues, "I hired a security guard to protect the cafeteria." The Boss concludes, "Our lunches are safe." An executive says to another, "I always thought that was just a figure of speech." The woman replies, "Fool! Give me your department!" One executive shouts, "Let go of my hair!!" One of them slaps the other and someone shouts, "Ouch!!" The Boss thinks, "This is going better than usual." Dilbert asks a security guard, "Why is the cafeteria closed?" The guard replies, "Someone ate all the lunches." He burps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bitter secreatry, #brain creates idea., #business idea, #creates words, #delivered, #life cycle, #proactive synergy, #words on paper

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert presents the life cycle of a business idea." The caption says, "The brain creates an idea." Asok, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Asok dreams about a woman. The caption says, "The mouth - operating independently of the brain - creates words." Asok says, "Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams." The caption says, "The words are written on large paper." Dilbert writes, "Let's form synergy," on an easel pad. He thinks, "Idiot." The caption says, "The large paper is delivered to a bitter secretary." Dilbert hands Carol the paper and says, "Please?" Carol growls. The caption says, "The secretary types it." Carol types, "Let's . . . form . . . protein . . . symphony reactionary . . . teens." She thinks, "Close enough." The caption says, "The typed notes are delivered to the staff." Someone hands Wally a copy of the notes. He points to the wastebasket and says, "Drop it in the 'to do basket.'" The caption says, "Repeat." Asok sits at his desk dreaming about a woman.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albert einstein, #marketing, #idea, #never work, #don't fully understand, #albert, #quite an ego, #experienced managers, #work smarter, #not harder, #business

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What if...Albert Einstien had been in marketing? Dogbert stands excited. Albert Einstien hands a piece of paper to The Boss who sits behind his desk. Einstien says, "I have a great idea for increasing sales." The Boss reads report. The Boss says, "Nope. This will never work." Einstien asks, "Um...is it possible that you don't fully understand the idea?" The Boss says, "That's quite an ego you have there, Allan." Einstein frowns. Einstein says, "Albert." The Boss walks Einstien out of his office. The Boss says, "Experienced managers know how to identify bad ideas...." The Boss says, "Bad ideas come from other people. Now go work smarter, not harder." Einstien walks away. The Boss thinks, "I worry that a guy like that will go off and build a huge bomb."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drunk, #out of control, #on a date, #can't get date, #whose idea

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Dilbert, dressed in a coat, is strolling with Dogbert. Dilbert says, "I'll never get drunk. I don't want to be out of control." Dogert asks, "Are you in control at work?" Dilbert answers, "Well.....no." Dogbert asks, "Are you in control when you're on a date?" Dilbert responds, "I can't get a date." Dogbert continues, "And whose idea was it to go on this walk?" Dilbert answers,"Yours." Dilbert lifts Dogbert up on a rock to sit. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that I should get drunk?" Dogbert answers, "No,no." Dogbert continues, "I'm saying the decision will be made by the beer companies." A seated Dilbert responds, "I hope they say that it's okay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #third person, #refer, #emphasize, #brand of greatness, #ruining, #good idea

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Dogbert dressed in a crown and sceptar says, to Bob, "Bob, from now on, I will refer to myself in the third person." Dogbert says, "Dogbert does this to emphasize his special brand of greatness." Bob says, "Bob thinks that is a good idea." Dogbert says, "Hey! You're ruining it!"