Build Comic Strips - Page 8

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123 Results for Build

View 71 - 80 results for build comic strips. Discover the best "Build" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #drool, #hydrogenerator, #save energy, #sleeping

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Each of us must do his part to save energy." Wally falls asleep, "Zzzzzz." Dilbert points at Wally and says, "I could build a tiny hydro-generator for his drool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #working model, #test plant design, #how big, #real one, #certificate

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Dilbert is working on a model. The Boss approaches. Dilbert says, "I built a working model to test my nuclear power plant design." The Boss asks, "How big will the real one be?" Dilbert responds, "About half this size. And it will cost $23 to build." The Boss replies, "I'd give you an attaboy certificate but my printer is out of paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2002's comic on:


Tags #consciousness, #ability to predict, #results of actions, #fully conscious, #array of sensors, #collect data

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Dilbert is walking with a woman. He says, "My theory is that consciousness is the ability to predict and then observe the results of actions." Dilbert continues, "So I think you could build a computer that would be fully conscious." The woman falls asleep. Dilbert carries the woman over his shoulder. He continues, "Obviously you'd need an array of sensors to collect the data."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #no assignment, #looking for project, #ineffectual, #good attendance, #head nodding

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A new employee approaches Dilbert and says, "I'm a new guy with no assignment. I'm looking for a project to horn into." The new employee continues, "But don't be threatened by me. I'm exceptionally ineffectual." The new employee continues, "I'm trying to build a career based on good attendance and head-nodding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bailout loan, #excellent lobbyists, #taxpayers give money, #leagl

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "The government is giving us a bailout loan because we have excellent lobbyists!" The Boss exclaims, "Ha ha! Taxpayers will give us money so we can build overpriced products to sell to taxpayers!" Dilbert turns to The Boss and says, "Remind me again why any of this is legal." The Boss replies, "Wuss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #man on moon, #recycled paper, #flawed analogy, #good analogies

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "If we can put a man on the moon, we can build a computer made entirely of recycled paper." Dilbert responds, "Your flawed analogy only shows that other people can do other things." The Boss says, "Maybe you should call other people and ask how they do it." Dilbert responds, "Maybe they use good analogies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #product launch party, #day and night, #working, #five years, #mime impression, #party, #add much

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A coworker approaches and says, "Can you come to the product-launch party next week?" Dilbert responds, "No. I'll be working day and night for five years to build the product you think you're launching." The coworker says, "Something tells me you don't add much to a party." Dilbert responds, "You haven't seen my mime impression."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #customers into sheep, #device, #buy whatever, #free wool, #marketing dept

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Dilbert is meeting with a coworker. The coworker says, "The marketing department wants you to build a device that turns customers into sheep." Dilbert asks, "Why? So they'll buy whatever we tell them to buy?" The coworker responds, "To be honest, we haven't given it much thought beyond free wool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan

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The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #voice mailbox, #spam filter, #rejects email, #ear wax, #grid

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Wally: "My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter rejects all incoming e-mail." "As soon as I build up a good load of ear wax, I'll be off the grid." The Boss: "Wally, we need to talk." "EH?"