Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 8

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1000 Results for Business Ethics

View 71 - 80 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Free Will Is An Illusion

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Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, free will, robot, robotics, technology, emotionally manipulate, cloud connected, control humans

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, dying, death, health, health tracker, heart rate monitor, ads, scare, fitbit, smart watch, medical

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Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

Animal Testing Is Done

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 Animal Testing Is Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags app, technology, addiction, morals, big business, ethics

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Dilbert: The animal testing for our app is done. The app is so addictive that Zimbu the monkey was hospitalized for starvation while using it. I think we all know what we need to do. Boss: Submit it to the app store?

Value Of An Employee's Life

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Value Of An Employee's Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, ethics, morals, morality, death, damage, value, medical

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Dilbert: The proposed system would reduce accidental employee deaths by 20 percent. CEO: What is the ratio of the value of an employee's life compared to real people? Dilbert: I find your question disturbing. CEO: Just tell me the answer, halfling!

Illegal Plan

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Illegal Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, legal, managers & supervisors, office workers, suspicious

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Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, construction, inventions, nature, technology, trees

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, engineering, government, idea, managers & supervisors, math, ocean, research, sarcasm, science, temperature, tests

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Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.

Adjust The Data

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Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, engineering, managers & supervisors, office, research, tests, data

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Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Have To Think About It

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Have To Think About It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, idea, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

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Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.

Evil Marketing

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Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product

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dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.