Buy Products Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

380 Results for Buy Products

View 71 - 80 results for buy products comic strips. Discover the best "Buy Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2005's comic on:

Tags #buy advertsising, #gullible world, #2 billion readers, #three readers

View Transcript

Transcript

Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 2007's comic on:

Tags #awards showcase, #buy display case, #awards store, #unethical filling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Asok, your assignment is to buy a display case for our awards. Then go to the store and buy a bunch of awards because we don't have any. Asok: The next one is for 'Best Unethical Filling of an Awards Showcase.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2007's comic on:

Tags #free publicity, #products are deadly, #recalling everything, #told the media, #public relations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2007's comic on:

Tags #pr campaign, #stock price, #grossly inflated, #buy companies, #make money, #manage companies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Thanks to my P.R. campaign, your stock price is grossly over-inflated." "Now you can use your stock to buy companies that actually make money." "After you manage those companies into the toilet, give me a jingle."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computer software, #new software product, #google, #created product, #free, #buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2012's comic on:

Tags #average person, #offer low prices, #prices, #products on sale, #raising prices, #smart enough

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2008's comic on:

Tags #stepping down, #ceo, #money stolen, #hellhole, #huge bag of cash, #helicopter, #writes book, #buy book

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I am stepping down as CEO so I can spend more time with this money I stole from this hellhole." Dogbert says, "I need you and you to carry huge bags of cash to my helicopter." Wally says, "The worst part is that if he ever writes a book, I'll probably buy it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2010's comic on:

Tags #lab coat, #invention, #scan, #brain, #predict, #buy, #kill, #suspicious, #microwave, #smoke out of ears, #rays

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy? a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending part of your brain." FERT!