Can O Matic Comic Strips - Page 8

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88 Results for Can O Matic

View 71 - 80 results for can-o-matic comic strips. Discover the best "Can O Matic" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #hired a genius, #faking british accent, #ello bird, #sexy sounds

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"I thought I hired a genius." "But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent." "'Ello, bird. 'Ow 'bout a spot o' tea? Whot do you say, gov'nor?" "Who's making those sexy sounds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #keep spitting, #disagree, #people, #happy, #crazy one, #men communication

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Dilbert: Do you think it's fair that you keep spitting on me just because you disagree with what I say? Girl: why am I the one who always has to change o make there people happy? Dilbert: Because you're the crazy one. girl: Now you're all quiet, why can't men learn to communicate.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2005's comic on:


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Here's a list of gifts I received on National Boss Day. "Sort them by dollar value and assign annual raises based on who gave the most." "Now I regret the Sculpture-o-Gum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2006's comic on:


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Did you ever come to work on Monday and realize that you forgot how to do your job? "Only a total moron would forget over the weekend how to do his job." "O-o-okay. I'm starting to remember who you two are."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2007's comic on:


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"According to my Soul-o-Meter, you still have 1% of your soul." "I'll give you a doughnut for it." "Sold." "It's funny how quickly a good day can become a great day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2007's comic on:


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My soul-o-meter is picking up a reincarnated soul. It looks like you had several previous lives. "I'll cauterize your head so your soul stays in your dead body next time." zzzt!!! "Because I can."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #copy document, #less valuable, #copy boy

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The Boss: I need someone to make ten copies of this document. Asok: Is there any risk that performing this task will make me appear less valuable? The Boss: I need someone to tell copy boy to get to work. Asok: Erk o"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #powerpoint, #waste time, #slow motion, #read, #project emu, #tie, #pull, #yank, #strangle, #business

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Man says, "I could've e-mailed you my powerpoint deck, and you could have read it in five minutes." Man says, "But I prefer making you sit here for an hour while I read each bullet point in slow motion." Man says, "P-o-i-n-t n-u-m-b-e-r o-n-e?" Wally says, "Yank this as hard as you can."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #tall pants, #traditional hair, #unholy allaince, #military industrial complex, #attack allies

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Dogbert: I'll need more than tall pants and traditional looking hair to get elected to president. "I'm hoping to form an unholy alliance with the military industrial complex." "You're willing to attack allies?" Dogbeert: "It's the highest R.O.I."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #upgrade computer, #non standard equipment, #cubicle, #den, #non stardard, #onitor, #healing, #clense, #upgraded computer, #abacus

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I asked the I.T. department to upgrade my computer. "They're coming here??!" "We must hide our non-standard equipment!" "Uh-oh." "So-o-o... this den of non-standardization must be your cubicle." "This non-standard printer is coming with me. And I don't remember that monitor on our list." "I must cleanse your cubicle of non-conformancce so the healing can begin." "Surely my upgraded computer will arrive soon." Months later "Abacus?" "Please shut up."