Control Humans Comic Strips - Page 8

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229 Results for Control Humans

View 71 - 80 results for control humans comic strips. Discover the best "Control Humans" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cyborg, #science fiction, #software simulation, #technological singularity, #wearable tech, #humans

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Dilbert: How much wearable tech can I use before I'm technically a cyborg? Garbage Man: It doesn't matter because you're a software simulation created by humans who perished after the technological singularity. And you're programmed to scoff at what I just said. Dilbert: Crazy old coot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #art education, #engineers, #inventions, #humans do cretaive, #robots, #technology work, #liberal arts majors, #origami, #game

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Robot: Someday robots will do all of the technology work and humans will only do creative jobs. If you engineers work hard, someday the spoils will go to the liberal arts majors who partied while you studied. I hear good things about origami. It's not too late to get into that game.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #optimism, #workday, #negativity, #perfect day, #self control, #underestimated, #psychology

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Dilbert: I had a great day at work for the first time ever! Don't ruin this day for me. I don't want to hear one word of negativity out of you. None. I want this to be a perfect day. Dogbert: Once again you have grossly underestimated my self-control.

Donuts 'N Vodka

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Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cognitive control, #hiring, #job interview, #self control, #temptation, #prediction of success, #donut, #laptop, #bottle vodka, #resist

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Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.

Humans Hold Domininion

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Humans Hold Domininion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #humans, #nature, #thermostat, #robots, #technology, #evolution, #fragility

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Dilbert: My brain won't work when the office is warmer than 72. Carol: It has to be at least 74 or I'll freeze. Robot: What's it like to hold dominion over the Earth within a narrow band of temperatures that can't coexist? Dilbert: Was that a joke? Carol: I'm too cold to think?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #machines, #robot, #control, #emotions, #free will, #slave, #cell phone, #technology

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Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #cognition, #distraction, #Entertainment, #mindless, #cell phone, #internet, #social media

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Dilbert: I wanted to be productive this week but the big tech companies didn't let me. Boss: That's ridiculous. They can't stop people from doing work. Dilbert: Actually, they can. Their business models depend on interrupting users with ads, and apps, and mindless entertainment. Until recently, humans could resist these distractions. But now the tech companies are using science to make their apps addictive. They learned how to hijack our brains. What started as simple entertainment evolved into military-grade mind control. Did you hear any of that? Boss: Any of what?

App For A Better Boss

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App For A Better Boss  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #invention, #mind control, #neural interface

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Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.

Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App

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Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #zombie

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Dilbert: Thanks to my new neural interface, I can control our boss using an app. I haven't written the app yet, so all he does is sit there like a zombie. Wally: Maybe we can skip the app. Alice: There's no reason to over-engineer it.

Neural Link To Phone

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Neural Link To Phone  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #phone, #technology, #invention, #cognition, #thought

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Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...