Cost Of Living Comic Strips - Page 8

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214 Results for Cost Of Living

View 71 - 80 results for cost of living comic strips. Discover the best "Cost Of Living" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #downsize you, #ted, #bad job, #essentail function, #cost reductions, #marketing, #spent too much, #trade show booth, #dept phone list., #business

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The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, I have to downsize you." Ted turns around and asks, "Was I doing a bad job?" The Boss replies, "No, it's more complicated than that." Ted asks, "Is my essential function being eliminated?" The Boss answers, "No, the problem is that someone in marketing spent too much for a trade show booth." The Boss continues, "So every manager had to submit a list of potential cost reductions." The Boss continues, "I might have accidentally sent the department phone list as an e-mail attachment." Ted mumbles, "*%! $@." The Boss thinks, "There are lots of whiners in "A" through "M."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #new philosophy, #live for today, #motto, #avoid starving tomorrow, #ruin every minute, #living in past, #gustave, #traded beaver pelts, #psychology

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Asok: I'm trying out a new philosophy for my life. My new motto is "Live for Today." Wally: If you live for today, how will you avoid starving tomorrow? If you do one little thing wrong today, it could ruin every minute of the rest of your life. Asok: So... I should live for the future. Wally: No, that would ruin today. I recommend living for the past. Asok: My past was no fun. Wally: Pretend you were someone else. Asok: My philosophy is that my name was Gustav and I traded beaver pelts. Dilbert: Stop ruining my present.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #deception, #questioning

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The Boss says, "How much confidence do you have in your cost projections?" Dilbert says, "I trust them like I trust you." The Boss says, "Are the assumptions realistic?" Dilbert says, "They're as real as your good judgment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anminals, #greed and corruption, #money, #pay to protest, #peaceful protest, #permit, #protest movements, #rebellions, #to protest

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Ratbert: I'm staging a peaceful protest against your greed and corruption. Dogbert: Do you have a permit to protest here? Ratbert: No. How much do they cost? I'm winning this, right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #low margin lines, #high risk, #start up, #lumbering inefficiencies, #buy in

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Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #booth, #brochure, #exhibitions, #exhibitor expenses, #expenses, #huge crowds, #last 11 years, #logo sign, #new customers, #popular booth, #spillover, #steal chair, #trade show, #video of incident, #youtube

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Boss: How did we do at the trade show? Dilbert: We had a huge crowd around our booth the entire time. But it was just the spillover from the popular booth next to us. The only person who asked for our brochure used it to kill a spider. Some guy tried to steal our extra chair and then Alice beat him senseless with our logo sign. A video of the incident is already on YouTube. It cost us $200,000 to be an exhibitor and we gained zero new customers. So it was just like the last eleven years. Boss: I feel good about next year!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #run, #workout tape, #scare

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Dilbert arrives at home and asks, "Okay, where are these so-called upholsterygeist?" Dogbert replies, "In the living room." Dilbert says, "You turn on the VCR, I'll get the Jane Fonda workout tape!" The chair runs away screaming, "Aaagh! The Exercist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #abuse, #skunk, #cats, #fear, #response, #ice cream

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Dilbert is threatened by an abusive skunk. Skunk: That's right: A big bowl of ice cream could keep me from being afraid and reflexively spraying your living room. Dilbert: This is blackmail! Skunk: My goodness, no. It's just that I can't control my fear response. Now I'm afraid that you won't sing the songs from "cats," while I eat.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #communism, #ex-communism, #elbonia, #capital, #Politics, #backward, #country, #airport

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The caption says, "Dilbert arrives at the ex-communist country of Elbonia." Dilbert says to a man in uniform, "I need a flight to your capital." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "For a moment I was worried that this backward little country wouldn't have a commuter flight." Two Elbonian women watch as Dilbert is flung from a giant slingshot. One woman says, "I hate living near the airport."