Search Results for "customer focus"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

View Transcript

Transcript

"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #biggest customer, #key to learning, #fire, #trust anyone

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, did you tell our biggest customer that everyone here except you is an escaped felon?" Wally: "Maybe." The Boss: "Now I can't fire you because they don't trust anyone else." wally: "The key learning here is that alleged crime doesn't pay." the boss; "I've never been caught!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #selling stuff, #customer, #can't pay, #sociopath

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Today I got a bonus for selling stuff to a customer who probably can't pay." Dogbert: "Does your soda taste any less delicious?" Dilbert: "No." Dogbert: "Congratulations, you're a sociopath." Dilbert: "It feels kinda good."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #online customer survey, #how happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support: Please fill out the online customer satisfaction survey." "Um... But you haven't even tried to help me yet." "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #topper vs. a customer, #dogsled race, #world toughest terrain, #better than, #top you, #cancel deal, #burn to ground, #go one better, #more better

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fly to austin, #customer, #call big cutsomers, #go inperson, #telephone, #show you care, #concept of phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at the Boss' desk in his office and the Boss says to him, "Fly to Austin and answer some questions for a big customer." Dilbert asks, "Doesn't this customer have a telephone?" The Boss replies in shock as he thrusts his arms out to the side. "You don't call big customers!" Obviously confused, Dilbert aks "Um...why not?" In an exasperated voice, The Boss replies "You have to go in person to show that you care." Still not catching on, Dilbert replies "Actually, that would show that I didn't understand the concept of the telephone.? Now completely disgusted, The Boss replies "Just go." Dilbert is now sitting at a table with Ted who holds a phone in his hand and asks, "Do they have these where you come from?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #diet, #expect, #hysterical, #laughing, #sharp focus, #expectations, #outburst, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I should warn you that I'm on a diet and might not have the sharp focus that you've come to expect from me. Asok: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" "I thought of something funny totally on my own."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #irony, #meeting, #ceo visits, #change focus, #make good prodcuts, #pretending solvency, #hologram, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #focus group, #surprise, #chair, #sleeping gas, #plotting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How's the focus group coming along?" Dilbert says, "They don't like us. They're plotting to storm our observation room." The Boss says, "Release the sleeping gas." Dilbert says, "CHAIR!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #customer support, #customer service, #rodent, #talk on phone, #creepy personal questions, #waste of time, #refund

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."