Da Vinci Code Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

146 Results for Da Vinci Code

View 71 - 80 results for da vinci code comic strips. Discover the best "Da Vinci Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2007's comic on:

Tags #agile programming, #cpmplain, #training, #write code, #no more planning, #no more documentation, #just start writing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We're going to try something called agile programming. "That means no more planning and no more documentation. Just start writing code and complaining." Wally: "I'm glad it has a name." The boos: "That was your training."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2001's comic on:

Tags #recommend vendor, #internal debvelopers, #play out, #outside vendor, #clueless weasel, #begin work, #sign contract, #internal weasels complain, #use, #steaming mounds, #worthless code, #plan too much, #practiced yesterday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands before the Boss giving a presentation. Dilbert says, "...And that's why I recommend using this vendor." The Boss asks, "Why don't we use our internal developers?" Dilbert replies, "Let me explain how this will play out." Dilbert begins drawing a diagram on the board. Dilbert says, "Step One: We select an outside vendor because our internal developers are clueless weasels." Dilbert continues, "Step Two: We sign a contract and begin work." Dilbert says, "Step Three: Our internal weasels complain to our VP and she order us to use them." Dilbert continues drawing a complex diagram on the board. Dilbert says, "Step Four: The outside vendor sues us while our weasels grunt out steaming mounds of worthless code." Dilbert returns home to Dogbert. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Do I plan too much?" Dogbert says, "Is this the conversation we practiced yesterday?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2013's comic on:

Tags #deception, #work ethic, #defraying disk drive, #compiling code

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm in the middle of defragging my disk drive. When that's done, my computer will be compiling code for a few hours. Dilbert: How's work? Wally: I hear bad things about it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2013's comic on:

Tags #computer programmers, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #code consistency, #legacy systems, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's your take on code consistency versus best practices for legacy systems? Boss; I want all of that stuff and I want it now. Dilbert: When people ask what you do for a living, what the $%@* do you say?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2013's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #computer programmers, #code, #writing code, #conspiracy theories

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'd like to recognize Ted for writing his part of the code in just two days. Dilbert: How many days was it supposed to take? Boss: At least a week, I would think. Dilbert: Why would you think that? Boss: Because it was so hard to do. Dilbert: Who told you it was hard? Boss: Ted did. Dilbert: All he did was delete some lines from existing code and recompile it. Ted: It was hard. Boss: See! Wally: Do you have any more crazy conspiracy theories?

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2014's comic on:

Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2014's comic on:

Tags #complaining, #engineers, #project inherited, #weak code, #rewrite, #great job, #hired idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The project I inherited has weak code. I need to rewrite it from scratch. Boss: Will there ever be an engineer who says, "That last guy did a great job. Let's keep all of it?" Dilbert: I'm hoping the idiot you hire to replace me says that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2014's comic on:

Tags #business casual, #clothing, #dorks, #dress code, #fashion, #business dorky, #unstylish, #tan colored, #dumb name, #new order

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Our new dress code is "Business Dorky." Your clothes must be dorky, unstylish, and 50% tan colored. Dilbert: So... business casual? Catbert: That's a dumb name for it.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2014's comic on:

Tags #accessories, #busniess casual, #clothing, #dorks, #fashion, #new dress code, #powerless, #boring, #sexually irrelevant, #badeg, #asexual trespasser

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This is our new company dress code. We call it "Business Dorky." Dogbert: I like it because it makes you look powerless, boring, and sexually irrelevant. Dilbert: They make me wear this badge so I don't look like an asexual trespasser. Dogbert: Accessories make the outfit.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2014's comic on:

Tags #anger, #clothing, #dress code, #dress codes, #fashion, #matching, #same outifits, #ale, #dfemale, #slap to death

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hey, it's the first day of our new dress code and we wore exactly the same outfits! Alice: If you ever say that again I will rip out your tongue and use it to slap you to death. Dilbert: Is it because I wore it better?