Date Analyzer Comic Strips - Page 8
200 Results for Date Analyzer
View 71 - 80 results for date analyzer comic strips. Discover the best "Date Analyzer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 05, 2005's comic on:
"It's too bad that we share a cubicle. Otherwise I'd date you." "If it didn't work out, we'd have to see each other every day." "...Always reminded of our incredible time together." "Where's the bad?!! Where's the bad?!!"
Share May 06, 2005's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."
Share October 13, 2005's comic on:
Carol: I took the liberty of calculating how rich you'd have to be... "Before I'd be willing to date you. The number is four trillion dollars." "You're happily married." "That's all factored in."
Share March 19, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!
Share November 07, 2008's comic on:
A woman says, "i saw this shirt and I had to get it for you." Dilbert says, "We've had one date and you're buying me a a shirt? That's kind of creepy." The woman says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Is it made from your ex-boyfriend's skin?"
Share November 22, 2008's comic on:
Tina: This conversation has a low entertainment value. Let's just use our phones to surf the internet, and call it a date. Dilbert: I don't use the phrase "perfect woman" often... Tina: Shhh
Share June 01, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "After our first date, I pulled together some links to studies that debunk every belief you have." Dilbert says, "I alphabetized them. For example, here's Feng Shui, then homeopathy, then horoscope." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I always budget a little extra for second dates."
Share August 28, 2009's comic on:
Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"
Share December 23, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "You've made a number of innacurate statements during the course of this date." Dilbert says, "I don't want to break the romantic mood, so I'll send you an e-mail with links that you can review on your own time." The waiter says, "It sounds like you two are over. WOuld it hurt my tip if I take a run at her?"
Share July 06, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."