Dilbert's Comic Strips - Page 8
403 Results for Dilbert's
View 71 - 80 results for dilbert's comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert's" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert says, "Please, Mister Garbage Man, help us fix Dilbert's cloning device and bring him back to life!!" The garbage man looks at the device and says, "This shouldn't be too hard . . . Standard anti-light resonance filters . . . Yeah, I think I have parts in the truck." Dogbert asks, "You're going to clone him from his own garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Don't tell anybody - there might be a stigma."
The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"
The caption says, "Dilbert the Vigilante." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "When I get home from work, we'll track down the man who robbed our house and make him pay!!" At work, a man with a mohawk haircut, an eyepatch and clothes like Dilbert's sits at Dilbert's desk. Dilbert thinks, "No! It's the robber at my desk. He's stealing my job too!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "He's an impostor. Look at his hair!" The Boss replies, "We thought you'd been in a street fight with Vidal Sassoon."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't worry. If it's true that an impostor is trying to steal your job, I'll get rid of him at once." Dilbert points at a man with an eyepatch, a mohawk haircut and clothes like Dilbert's. Dilbert says, "There he is! And he doesn't even look like me!" The robber replies, "I finished the report." Dilbert says, "There's only room for one Dilbert!!" The Boss reads the report and says, "But this one actually produced something . . ."
Dilbert confronts his own ego. Dilbert: You can't leave me now... Dilbert's ego: Nobody tells me what to do! I am pure ego force! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Dilbert: Maybe you'd like to discuss that with my insecurities.
Bob the Dinosaur opens the closet door and says to Dawn, "I'll make a room for the baby by digging a cavern under Dilbert's closet." Dawn stands behind Bob holding an egg. Dawn asks, "Where will you put all the dirt?" Bob replies, "Obviously I'll have to dig a second hole to hold all the dirt."
Dilbert asks Dogbert, ". . . What if you succeed in your campaign to censor opera?" Dilbert continues, "Before you know it, somebody will try to censor other forms of art." The text balloons above Dilbert's and Dogbert's heads are blank.
A police detective and an officer stand in Dilbert's doorway. The detective says, "We're investigating the death of you lab partner." Dilbert sits at a table with the men and explains, "It was the final test of the automatic dentures . . . Willy wasn't wearing his protective corn-on-the-cob jacket . . ." The detective asks, "Did you notice anything unusual?" Dilbert replies, "No, not really."
Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."
Dilbert stands in front of the mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says, "I joined the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League.'" Dogbert asks, "What's that?" Dilbert replies, "They fight against the negative stereotypes of technical people that are often portrayed in the media." Dilbert's tie is wrapped around his body, arms and head. Dilbert says, "You broke my concentration."