Dont Care Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for dont care comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Care" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #life insurance policy, #pay premiums, #collect insurance, #valuable, #company, #don't like cats, #business

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Catbert and Wally sit at a table. Catbert says, "The company has taken out a life insurance policy on you, Wally." Catbert continues, "We pay the premiums and we collect the insurance when you die." Wally looks at the policy and asks, "Is this because I'm so valuable to the company?" Catbert replies, "It's because we think you'll be more valuable dead." Wally says, "This is exactly why I don't like cats."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #family freindly, #policy, #childless people, #tax, #child care, #lower profit sharing, #time off, #pick up slack, #victim

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Dilbert tells Alice, "This so-called 'Family Friendly' policy is like a tax on childless people." Dilbert continues, "You get child-care; I get lower profit-sharing. YOU get time off for family; I get to pick up your slack . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm a victim, but in some strange way I'm enjoying it." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. She says, "Then you'll love this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #article, #boss, #alice, #highlighted, #save time, #page numbers, #dont notice

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Alice stands at the entrance to her cubicle. The Boss offers her a piece of paper and says, "Alice, I found this article in a magazine." The Boss continues, "I highlighted the most important stuff to save you some time." Alice says, "You highlighted the page numbers." The Boss says, "It takes forever if you don't notice those."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1997's comic on:


Tags #accident, #ask questions, #bury survivors, #dont embarrass boss, #highly visible, #meetings, #put them in trunk, #promoted

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #illogical scientist, #much smarter, #scientists, #invented things, #don't understand sceince

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Behind him a guy with glasses and a mustache says, "Hi. I'm Dan the Illogical Scientist." Dan says, "I'm much smarter than you because scientists have invented many things." Dilbert says, "But those are other scientists, not you." Dan says, "Apparently you don't understand science."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #accept transfer, #frozen asteroid, #surplussed, #map

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Bob tells Alice, "If I don't accept the transfer to a frozen asteroid, I'll be superplugged." Alice says, "Ted, let me show you something on this map." Alice points and asks, "See this tiny island?" Ted answers, "Yes." Alice says, "That's where the people who care live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #alice, #Promotion, #dont know, #hired a strsnger, #out side of company, #the boss, #obstructs progress

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The Boss and Alice sitting at table. The Boss says, "Alice, I checked with the other managers; they don't know you well enough to promote you." The Boss continues, "So we've decided to hire someone from outside the company." Alice is stunned. As Alice exits the room, she says, "At least the other managers have heard my name now." The Boss replies, "I didn't use your real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept, #brochures, #new prodcut, #dominate market, #sales, #don't make product, #business

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Bob hands Dilbert something and says, "The marketing department saves the day! Check out these brochures I made." Bob reports, "This new product will allow us to dominate the market!" Dilbert says, "But we don't make this product." Bob says, "That hasn't hurt our sales so far."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #don't know cobol, #elbonia, #imaginary keyboard, #no computers, #teach cobol

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Caption: Somewhere in Elbonia. Dilbert stands waist high in snow holding his briefcase. Two Elbonians in big hats and long beards stand across from him. Dilbert says, "I've been sent to teach you cobol." Elbonian man says, "We don't have any computers." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I don't know cobol." Dilbert and the two Elbonians pretend to type on imaginary keyboards. Dilbert says, "...And if you had a keyboard, you would od this." Elbonian says, "Oops.. how do I delete?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #special achievement award, #does something good, #don't think so, #giving themselves awards, #other departments, #lower standards, #standing in hallway, #tried door knob

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Nobody has nominated a co-worker for a special achievement award." The Boss continues, "Someone in this group must have done SOMETHING good this year." Wally says, "No . . . I don't think so." Dilbert says, "We'd remember something like that." The Boss says, "This looks bad. All the other departments are giving themselves awards." The Boss says, "We might have to lower our standards a bit." Alice says, "I've been proactive in that area." The Boss asks, "Why are we standing in the hallway?" Wally replies, "We think the room is locked." Dilbert says, "We don't have the key." The caption says, "Later that month." The Boss hands Alice an award and says, "This award goes to Alice for boldly trying the door knob." Alice says, "When I find out who nominated me . . ."