Double Or Nothing Comic Strips - Page 8
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430 Results for Double Or Nothing
View 71 - 80 results for double or nothing comic strips. Discover the best "Double Or Nothing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 08,
2014
Wally Working In The Cloud
Tags #deception, #laziness, #the cloud, #work ethic, #software, #issues, #cell coverage, #home, #doing nothing, #engineering
Transcript
Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?
Friday March 06,
2015
Male Parts And Nothing Can Change It
Tags #discrimination, #fairness, #money, #salary, #sexism, #wages, #Women, #male body parts
Transcript
CEO: I explained to Alice why I earn more than she does, but she refuses to understand. I'm taller and I have male reproductive body parts. That's what stockholders care about, and nothing can change that. (Alice whistles as she walks with a pair of scissors and a mallet.)
Saturday July 18,
2015
Going Double Digital
Tags #attention, #distraction, #technology, #watch, #relationships, #dating, #smart phone, #smart watch
Transcript
Tina: I broke up with my boyfriend because we went double-digital. I got used to sharing time with his phone, bu the hasn't made eye contact since he unboxed his Apple watch. Dilbert: Ooh. Weather. Tina: Did you hear anything I just said?
Tuesday November 24,
2015
Robot Is A Box Of Nothing
Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness, #medical
Transcript
Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.
Thursday March 17,
2016
Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing
Tags #distraction, #strategy, #guest artist, #josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.
Friday November 11,
2016
Nothing Else To Talk About
Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology
Transcript
Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.
Thursday December 15,
2016
Asok Has Worst Job In The World
Tags #hit man, #job, #happiness, #satisfaction, #doppelganger, #double, #lookalike, #business, #psychology
Transcript
Asok: I thought I accidentally killed the creator of Garfield, but it turns out I killed his body double. Our boss ordered me to do the hit. I have the worst job in the world. Dilbert: No, I think that body double has the worst job. Asok: I'm only talking about the living.
Wednesday April 12,
2017
Dilbert Red Pills Asok
Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality
Transcript
Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.
Wednesday August 02,
2017
Nothing Dilbert Does Matters
Tags #motivation, #accomplishment, #meaning, #meaningless
Transcript
Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.
Thursday March 29,
2018
Doing Nothing
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #logic
Transcript
Boss: Wally, do you remember that thing I asked you to do last month? Wally: No. Boss: Well, that's okay because something changed and I don't need it anymore. Wally: You're welcome. You'd be surprised how often doing nothing is as good as doing something.