E Commerce Sight Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for e commerce sight comic strips. Discover the best "E Commerce Sight" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet community, #sarcastic suggestion, #email campaign, #improve image, #mass unsolicited, #tell people, #how nice we are

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss walks up behind him and says, "We have to improve our image in the Internet community." Dilbert says, "Let's do a mass unsolicited e-mail campaign to tell people how nice we are." Dilbert comes home and looks very angry. Dogbert says, "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quit, #work from home, #human contact, #testing email, #miss humans

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Dilbert walks into the conference room for a staff meeting. He thinks, "Maybe I should quit and work for myself from home." Dilbert sits down at the table and thinks, "I would miss all the human contact." Dilbert thinks, "Same as now." The Boss walks in and says, "I'm testing my e-mail. Did you get the 'e' I sent?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #knows about wally, #phone call logs, #web hits, #emails, #urine test, #college grades, #salary, #Family, #business, #money

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Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email monitoring system, #personal message, #unpaid overtime, #cluelessness in vicinity, #manipulating emplyee

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The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email chain letter, #will die, #curse of dogbert, #certain death, #curse, #turns into dogs

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Asok is sitting at his computer terminal and thinks, "Oh no! I got an e-mail chain letter. It says I'll die if I don't send it to ten more people." Asok thinks, "But if I forward the message, the Curse of Dogbert will be upon me." Asok looks like Dogbert, as do Alice and Wally (dog ears and dog nose). Asok says, "...So, I figured a curse is better than certain death, right?" Wally says, "Spank you very much." Alice puts her hands on her hips and looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #top priority, #project classified, #email, #project not feasible, #quality festival

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As Dilbert is working on the computer, The Boss comes over and says, "I fought to get your project classified as our top priority." Dilbert turns around and asks, "Did you get my e-mail saying the project isn't feasible?" The boss walks off and thinks, "I'll wait until tomorrow to tell him he's chairman of the 'quality festival'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #m, #new ceo, #ethical person, #sinking ship, #plunder treasure, #take challenge

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Dilbert and Wally standing outside a cubicle holding mugs. Dilbert says, "An executive search firm is trying to find a new C.E.O. for us." Wally says, "It'll be tough." Wally says, "No ethical person would board a sinking ship just to plunder its treasure." Ted and Dogbert sitting at table. Sheet of paper in front of Dogbert. Ted hands Dogbert a pen and says, "Are you ready to take the challenge?" Dogbert responds, "Oh, I'll take more than that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no one wants job, #village, #fillage, #dogbert as ceo

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The Boss and Dogbert sitting across from Wally and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "Mister Dogbert has returned as our C.E.O. becuase no one else wants the job." Dogbert, sitting between The Boss and Asok the Intern, says, "I can't tell you my plan for the assets of this company...but it rhymes with 'village.'" While Wally and Dilbert exit the meeting, Wally says, "I hope it's 'fillage.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal gopher, #special unifrom, #show status

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits behind his desk while Ted stands directly across from him. Dogbert says, "I need a personal 'gopher.' Are you interested?" Ted answers, "Sure!" Dogbert says, "Good. You'll wear a special uniform and a have a special office to show your status." Ted dressed in a gopher outfit stands in hole next to Dogbert's desk. Dogbert tosses a crumpled piece of paper that bounces off Ted's head. There are several pieces of crumpled paper on floor surrounding Ted. Dogbert says, "Sheesh. I haven't made a bank shot yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the ceo, #stock price, #personal gain, #budget cuts, #products, #relevant

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Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at head of table surrounded by workers. Dogbert says, "I've decided to manipulate our stock price for personal gain." Dogbert continues, "I'll spin off a few divisions, buy back some of our stock and announce massive budget cuts." Worker asks Dogbert, "Um...do you even know what products we make?" Dogbert replies, "How would that be relevant?"