Email Everyday Comic Strips - Page 8
212 Results for Email Everyday
View 71 - 80 results for email everyday comic strips. Discover the best "Email Everyday" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 06, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."
Share June 05, 2011's comic on:
Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.
Share August 30, 2011's comic on:
Man: Your email was ignorant and arrogant. Dilbert: How do you know it isn't just a reading comprehension problem on your end? Let's use logic to see which one of us is right. Bad decision 2. Bad decision 3.
Share September 14, 2011's comic on:
Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.
Share January 03, 2012's comic on:
Boss: I told you to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert: That conversation never happened. Maybe you planned to say it and then the thought morphed into a false memory. Boss: I'm sure I emailed you. Dilbert: You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable.
Share January 11, 2012's comic on:
Share November 05, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the desk in front of the computer. Dogbert says, "We're being deluged by e-mail!" Dogbert says, "The male writers heavily favor whacking Ratbert with the magazine." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up magazine. Dogbert continues, "And we have a number of helpful suggestions involving power tools." Dilbert replies, "Boys will be boys."
Share November 29, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the desk chair. He says, "The e-mail votes have been tabulated. The will of the people is that Ratbert shall be spared from getting whacked with a magazine." Dilbert says to Ratbert, "I guess there's nothing funny about random cruelty." Bob the Dinosaur gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "Right! Cruelty is only funny if administered in a proper social context."
Share February 01, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Both of them look like they have been burned in a fire. Dilbert says, "My status report is a bit light this week because I'm having an e-mail flame war with Wally." Dilbert continues angrily, "Wally refuses to admit my technical superiority or his simian ancestry. It is my obligation to set him straight." Wally shakes his fist at Dilbert and shouts, "NEVER!!" Dilbert says, "I'm thinking this somehow elevates my rank in the herd and improves my mating possibilities." Wally says, "We're victims of hormones."
Share May 10, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert reads an e-mail message on his computer screen. The message says, "To: all users. From: network admin. Please refrain from frivolous e-mail. It bogs down the network." Dilbert types a message that says, "To: network admin. From: Dilbert. CC: all users. I agree!" Dilbert arrives at home and asks Dogbert, "Have you noticed there's too much communication in the world, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, every day at about this time."