Emergency Hiring Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

103 Results for Emergency Hiring

View 71 - 80 results for emergency hiring comic strips. Discover the best "Emergency Hiring" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.

Dilbert Characters

Donuts 'N Vodka

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cognitive control, hiring, job interview, self control, temptation, prediction of success, donut, laptop, bottle vodka, resist

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.

Engineering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Engineering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, hiring, negativity, personality tests, resumes, special algorithms, personality, stupidity, engineering, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company culture, culture, hiring, incompetence, work culture, good fit, stigma, cultural hires, wishes, rise above

View Transcript

Transcript

Larry: Hi, I'm Larry. I was hired because I'm a good cultural fit. I hope we can get past the stigma that cultural hires are incompetent. But I don't know how to do that. Alice: Maybe you could ask a competent person to help you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drinking, hiring, personality tests, sales, sales personnel, sociopaths, storytelling skills, morgue, selfie, dead guy, super drunk, hired, sales person, new hire, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.

Hiring A Co Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring A Co Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, executives, wages, work ethic, co ceo, break tie, manioulate, pay, hire, split salary, money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.

Fierce Employees Wanted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fierce Employees Wanted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, confusion, ferocity, fierce, hiring, interview, job application, job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, babble, economics, obliviousness, economist, economy, hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.

Smoking And Iq

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smoking And Iq - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags smoking, cigarettes, tobacco, intelligence, i.q., interview, hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

Technical Interview. Dilbert: Do you smoke? Man: What does that have to do with my technical skills? Dilbert: A 2010 Israeli study says smokers have lower intelligence. Man: How do you know stuff like that? Dilbert: Would it be funny if I said I don't smoke?

Only Masochist Would Live Here

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Only Masochist Would Live Here - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, jobs, talent, masochist, masochism, expectations, work ethic, work environment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Here's my list of the ten qualities I want in all new employees. Catbert: A person with all of these qualities would also need to be a masochist to work here. CEO: Write that in.