Empty Brain Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

276 Results for Empty Brain

View 71 - 80 results for empty brain comic strips. Discover the best "Empty Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #accounting, #airfare, #business trip, #saturday, #reimburse, #saturday hotel costs, #business activity, #understand, #economic choices, #waste money, #ugly brain dead troll, #free lunch money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches the cave where the accounting department is located. He groans. Dilbert tells a troll, "I saved $500 in airfare by extending my business trip to Saturday." Dilbert asks, "Why won't you reimburse me for the Saturday hotel costs?" The troll replies, "Saturday was not a business-related activity." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's NOT business-related to make sensible economic choices . . ." Dilbert continues, "But it IS business-related to waste money like an ugly, brain-dead troll . . ." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and wearing disheveled clothes. He tells Dogbert, "Then he beat me up and took my lunch money." Dogbert asks, "Are you saying I can get free lunch money by beating you up?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bitter secreatry, #brain creates idea., #business idea, #creates words, #delivered, #life cycle, #proactive synergy, #words on paper

View Transcript

Transcript

The strip is titled, "Dogbert presents the life cycle of a business idea." The caption says, "The brain creates an idea." Asok, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Asok dreams about a woman. The caption says, "The mouth - operating independently of the brain - creates words." Asok says, "Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams." The caption says, "The words are written on large paper." Dilbert writes, "Let's form synergy," on an easel pad. He thinks, "Idiot." The caption says, "The large paper is delivered to a bitter secretary." Dilbert hands Carol the paper and says, "Please?" Carol growls. The caption says, "The secretary types it." Carol types, "Let's . . . form . . . protein . . . symphony reactionary . . . teens." She thinks, "Close enough." The caption says, "The typed notes are delivered to the staff." Someone hands Wally a copy of the notes. He points to the wastebasket and says, "Drop it in the 'to do basket.'" The caption says, "Repeat." Asok sits at his desk dreaming about a woman.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #meeting moth, #wool clothes, #participants, #moth eaten clothes, #empty stomach

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks cursing. His clothing is chewed to bits. Alice also curses. her clothing also has large bites taken out of it. The meeting moth walks with his mouth full and his hands full of cloth. The moth thinks, "A "meeting moth" should never go to a meeting on an empty stomach."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #wally report, #serious threat, #productivity, #new things, #brain full, #forget fifth grade, #more information, #can't sustain information

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Wally says: "In this week's Wally report, I'll discuss a serious threat to my productivity." Wally says: "By Tuesday my brain was so full that I had to forget things to make room for new things." Alice looks to Wally through the coner of her eyes. The boss says: "Wally. I have some information for you." Wally says: "Great. I'll just forget the fifth grade."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #unvested stock, #quit, #lose stock, #brain irrationality, #small loss, #huge opportunity, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Outdoors, Dilbert tells Garbage Man: "If I quit I'll lose some unvested stock. That's why I'm willing to suffer my job." Garbage Man replies: "A normal brain irrationally puts more weight on a small loss than a huge opportunity." Dilbert begins to say: "But now that you explained it..." But Garbage Man interrupts him: "Now you're just stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #male brain, #treat like dirt, #good personalities, #overated, #getting hot

View Transcript

Transcript

Ming says to Dilbert, "Help me understand the male brain, Dilbert." Ming asks Dilbert, "I treat you like dirt and you ask me out on a date?" Dilbert replies, "Good personalities are overrated." Ming responds, "You're getting me all hot over here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dinner, #socially defective brain, #voicemail, #speakerphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron is sitting at his desk, using speakerphone to listen to his messages. The voice mail service is heard aloud, "Press one to hear." Alice approaches from behind and asks, "Why are you using your speakerphone for voice-mail?" She continues, annoyed, "I mean, seriously, what is going through that socially defective brain of yours?" Ron responds, "Would you like to have dinner?" To which Alice's answer is, "Yeah, why not."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #new personlaity, #non standard, #approved corporate personalities, #sycophants glad hander, #sadist, #prima donna, #empty suit, #whining misfit, #spec sheet, #dialoque

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Catbert, evil H.R. Director." Catbert is sitting behind a desk in a throne-like chair. He tells Dilbert, who is sitting in a very small chair: "We've decided to give you a new personality." Dilbert is surprised: "What! Why?" Catbert explains: "You're current personality is non-standard." He continues: "You must choose one of the approved corporate personalities." Catbert presents the options: "The choices are sycophant, glad-hander, sadist, quantoid, prima donna, empty suit, or whining misfit." Dilbert says: "Empty suit sounds interesting." Catbert says: "Excellent choice. Here's the Spec Sheet." Wally asks Dilbert about the meeting: "How did it go?" Dilbert answers, reading from the Spec Sheet: "Same ol' Same ol'. You got that right!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2002's comic on:


Tags #empty cubicles, #frightens customres, #adopt cubicle, #decorate, #appear occupied, #phil de cube, #imaginary employee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #blank cd, #demo, #empty case, #forgetting blank cd, #new product, #software, #travel, #travelled four hours, #unit, #once we write, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a receptionist and says, "I have an appointment to see a demo of your new product." The salesman holds up a box and says to Dilbert, "And the unit will be in a case like this, but completely different, and it will have software, once we write it." Dilbert holds the box and says, "You let me travel four hours to see an empty case?" The salesman replies, "Are you forgetting the blank CD?"