Engineers Comic Strips - Page 8
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216 Results for Engineers
View 71 - 80 results for engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 11,
2000
Tags enough engineers, all requests, sales support, online data base, contempt, disbelief, mixture
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "We don't have enough engineers to handle all the requests for sales support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Build an online database to log all the requests." Dilbert says to The Boss, "It might look as if I'm staring at you with a mixture of contempt and disbelief, but I'm actually meditating."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday November 14,
2001
Tags pulls knife, pleasure to meet, psycho hillbilly, crazy old coot, network design engineers
Transcript
The psycho hillbilly raises his knife at Asok and says, "Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you." Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Asok says, "You look like a psycho hillbilly" The hillbilly replies, "Thank you very much." The hillbilly continues, "We network design engineers like to dress with a theme." Asok asks, "May I call you crazy old coot?"
Wednesday December 12,
2001
Tags odd shaped foam, design rocess, brainstorm, insightful observations, engineers
Transcript
A man addresses the crowd. He says, "Everyone grab an odd-shaped piece of foam and sit down." The man continues, "We'll continue the design process by pointing to these brainstorm notes and making insightful observations." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "The notes are all yellow." The man responds, "Sweet jeepers!!! You're all engineers!"
Sunday August 05,
2012
Tags business ethics, work ethic, top engineers, competetors, firing, get rid of, updating resume, goes as planned, hideous disese, felt useuful, threatening employment
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.
Thursday July 17,
2003
Tags engineers, said to reporter, technology is purtrid, compensate, ignore complaints, witch hunt
Transcript
The Boss is holding a newspaper and looks panicked. He says to Catbert, "Look what one of our engineers said to a reporter!" Catbert reads, "Our technology is putrid, but we compensate by ignoring complaints." The Boss asks Catbert, "You know what would be more fun than fixing those problems?" Catbert exclaims, "Witch-hunt!!!"
Tuesday December 16,
2003
Tags engineers, jobs, want job your job, falling out of trees, dime a dozen, intimidation, job on line, idle threats
Transcript
The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.
Sunday May 09,
1999
Tags few upgrades to design, realize engineer, graduate of liberal arts, college, broad exposure, modern renaissance, timing circuit, moby dick, charles dickens, engineering classes, poor engineers, work is small, education
Transcript
The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."
Thursday April 20,
2006
Tags engineers, project plan, won't work, problem solver
Transcript
Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."
Monday January 22,
2007
Tags evil director, human resources, scientist, planet zorp, technolgies, engineers, transfer knowledge, work, fabric covered container, business, science
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Scientist: I am a scientist from the planet Zorp. I bring you technologies beyond your imagination. All I ask is that you let me work with your engineers to transfer this knowledge. They think 'work' means sitting in a fabric-covered container.
Wednesday August 15,
2012
Tags business ethics, mergers & acquisitions, google, 100 million, engineers, jump ship, ceo, buy out
Transcript
CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.


