Entire Weekend Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for entire weekend comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Weekend" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ridiculous, #Dilbert, #supercomputer, #create, #model, #predict, #life, #brain, #chemistry, #patterns, #cause and effect, #free will, #mad, #implies

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Dilbert sits at a desk and works on his supercomputer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm using my new supercomputer to create a model that can predict your entire life." Dilbert continues, "You see, everything, including your brain chemistry, is subject to predictable patterns of cause and effect . . ." Dogbert replies, "That's ridiculous. It implies that we have no free will." Dilbert looks at the monitor and says, "Next, you start getting really mad at me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #intelligent, #creature, #room, #planet, #smarter, #people, #hobby, #sarcasm

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Don't think of yourself as the least intelligent creature in this room . . ." Dogbert continues, "If you consider the entire planet, you're smarter than literally hundreds of people." Dilbert asks, "Have you ever considered taking up a hobby?" Dogbert replies, "This IS my hobby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #rags, #Dogbert, #corporate, #clients

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Dogbert says to a group of rags, "I'll be representing you corporate employees in a class action suit. Your company has sucked the life force out of you and turned you into little rags." Dogbert continues, "My fee will be on a contingency basis. That means I get the entire settlement plus I'll use you to wax my BMW." One rag replies, "Sounds fair." Another thinks, "Don't make waves." Dogbert thinks, "I've found the perfect clients."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #meeting, #job application

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Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and says, "Your entire staff volunteered to work on my task force. Now I want them and their budgets transferred to me." The Boss asks, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert replies, "If you don't, I'll tell everybody you're not a team player . . . Sign here." The Boss says as he signs, "So . . . Now I'm on the team, right?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . The losing team . . . By yourself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #pringles, #dog

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Dilbert says, "Hey, Dogbert! I just discovered I can fit an entire change of clothes into an empty 'Pringles' potato chip can." Dilbert continues, "Most of the fabrics I wear can be rolled up pretty tight . . . So . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert walks away thinking, "It's funny how the most brilliant idea can sound silly when you tell your dog."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boss made pass, #cat ate ring, #family in coma, #irs audit, #seek relief, #woes, #anti woe cologne

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Alice: I'm going to seek relief from my many woes by sharing them with you. My entire family is in a coma....The cat ate my wedding ring,,,,The IRS is auditing us....my boss made a pass at me. It isn't working, you aren't absorbing my woes. Dilbert: Im wearing into woe cologne.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #benefits dept, #retire now, #haitian penny stocks, #change in tone, #letter about pension, #contrarain investor

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dilbert: Uh-oh...it's never good when we get mail from the benefits department. "retire now or we'll invest your entire pension in haitian penny stocks. Dilbert: Have you noticed a change in tone lately? Wally: Little do they know Im a contrarian investor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #qualified, #technology, #artcile, #smarter, #microsoft corportaion, #most geniuses, #millionaires, #smart

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Dilbert: "What makes you think you're qualified to be a technology columnist?" Dogbert: "It's easy." "In this article I explain why I'm smarter than the entire Microsoft corporation." Dilbert: "Actually, they're mostly geniuses. And many are millionaires." Dogbert: "If they're so smart, why aren't they columnists?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #elbonians, #afford, #just mud, #couch shopping network, #manage resources, #sold country, #little jars, #molten lava, #earths core

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Dilbert sits in his cubicle. He asks Dogbert, "How could the Elbonians afford to buy this company? Their whole country is just mud." Dogbert imagines a television screen showing an Elbonian holding a container with the figure "$119.95" above him. Dogbert answers, "They packaged the mud and sold it as a cosmetic on the 'Couch Shopping Network.' They made trillions." Hugging his knees to his chest, Dilbert comments, "At least they know how to manage resources." Dogbert replies, "They sold their entire country in little jars. Most Elbonians perished in molten lava at the Earth's core."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #book, #dog, #pet, #sick, #animals, #medical

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A woman walking down the sidewalk drops something. Dilbert bends over to pick it up and says, "Excuse me, miss!" The woman turns around and thinks, "Uh oh . . ." Dilbert says, "You dropped this little book titled 'Attractive Women's Secret Guide to Avoiding Dilbert.'" Dilbert says, "Wait a minute! I KNEW there had to be some kind of conspiracy!!" Dilbert opens the book and says, "If I can break this code, it will cripple their entire operation!" The woman shouts into a walkie talkie, "Mayday!!! Mayday!!!" Dilbert points at the woman and says, "Dogbert, sic!!!" Dogbert replies, "Sick? No, but my nose is a bit dry . . ."