Entire World Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

424 Results for Entire World

View 71 - 80 results for entire world comic strips. Discover the best "Entire World" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #enormous brain, #world changing, #no pay, #no cubilce, #cling to ceiling, #interviews well

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #gullible world, #magazine, #cover story, #shed pounds, #yell at children, #eat your way, #be a better parent

View Transcript

Transcript

My new magazine is called 'Gullible World'. "This month's cover story is 'Shed Pounds by Yelling at Your Children'." "Next month will be 'Eat Your Way to Being a Better Parent'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #buy advertsising, #gullible world, #2 billion readers, #three readers

View Transcript

Transcript

Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #gullible world magazine, #engineering, #before and after, #picture, #before picture pose, #sexy

View Transcript

Transcript

"May I take your picture for a feature story in 'Gullible World' magazine?" "It's a story about how engineering makes you sexier." "Gosh, okay." "Perfect. Now all I need is someone to pose for the 'After' picture."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #happy birthday, #50 years old, #entire life, #delusional thing, #old man, #office, #computer, #aging, #dementia, #life changes, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Happy birthday. What's it feel like to be 50?" "It's great! I've never felt better in my entire life!" "So it's sort of a delusional thing?" "Yes, luckily."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #emails, #high priority, #entire week, #working, #feeding squirrel, #east entrance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: All of your e-mails this week were marked as highest priority. "So I spent the entire week working on the first one." "Next week I plan to continue not feeding the squirrels by the east entrance."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #design, #real world, #uninformed criticisms, #meeting, #boss, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"