Excited By Criticism Comic Strips - Page 8
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129 Results for Excited By Criticism
View 71 - 80 results for excited by criticism comic strips. Discover the best "Excited By Criticism" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday June 11,
2015
Brainstorming App Ideas
Tags #ideas, #brainstorm, #idea, #thinking, #criticism, #judge, #judging, #technology, #invention, #judgment, #legal
Transcript
Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.
Sunday July 05,
2015
Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.
Tuesday June 23,
2015
Checking On Assumptions
Tags #criticism, #insult, #strategy, #managers, #underling
Transcript
Dilbert: I researched the assumptions behind your strategy and discovered they are unfounded. So I guess that means you will be changing your strategy. Alice: Did it make a difference? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that he hates me more.
Sunday July 19,
2015
Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic
Transcript
Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.
Thursday August 06,
2015
Teeth Brushing Accident
Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean
Transcript
Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?
Tuesday August 18,
2015
Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator
Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction, #relationships, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?
Wednesday September 09,
2015
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing
Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.
Thursday September 10,
2015
Understanding The Problem
Tags #Advice, #wisdom, #criticism, #bad advice, #executives, #success
Transcript
CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.
Monday October 05,
2015
People Keep Stealing His Ideas
Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas
Transcript
Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.
Wednesday January 06,
2016
Three Problems With Spreadsheet
Tags #spreadsheet, #criticism, #semantics, #error, #correction
Transcript
Boss: Did you see any errors on the spreadsheet I put together? Dilbert: Only three. Boss: What are they? Dilbert: Your data, your format, and your formulas.