Fake Excuses Comic Strips - Page 8

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142 Results for Fake Excuses

View 71 - 80 results for fake excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Fake Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #visibuddy, #mindless replica, #increases visibility, #golf, #nice guy, #invention, #fake clone, #robot, #Sports

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Dilbert fastens the head atop a robot of himself. He says to Dilbert, "I call my invention the 'Visibuddy.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a mindless replica that can attend meeting and increase my visibility." The Visibuddy, The Boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Visibuddy asks The Boss, "Am I working hard or hardly working? Do you golf?" The Boss thinks, "Nice guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vendor list, #excuses, #same excuses, #password, #palusible, #changed

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"Wally, do you have the approved vendor list?" "It's on the net. The password is 'Wally.'" "Hmm, you always say information is on the net when I know it's not. Yet, by mentioning a password it sounds plausible." "So, first I'll find out that the password has changed. Then I'll find out the list is out of date. What am I forgetting?" "User name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2004's comic on:


Tags #backs up, #fake news, #lake view, #potential fire place, #rains, #real estate charlatan, #seasonal skylight, #sweras, #turning bad into good, #well written

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Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2006's comic on:


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Mail Room "My fake arm is here!" "Attach the fake arm to the real shoulder..." "I'll come back when he's off the conference call." zzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2006's comic on:


Tags #art, #artist, #modern art, #expression, #obtuse, #con, #scheme, #money, #fake

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My idea is to drape a huge tarp over the hideous sculpture in the courtyard. "My message will be that art is as much about the negative space as the positive." "Plus it's not really art unless someone is winning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2006's comic on:


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I've written a future best-selling book. "It's part fake autobiography and part plagiarism." Moby Dog Publisher Pitch "You were a large white whale? Wow!" "Until I married Mary Magdalene."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2006's comic on:


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"They're filming a movie downtown. I just saw Brad Pitt!" "That's nothing." "I once used too much fake tanning spray and the next thing I knew, Brad and Angelina adopted me." "You're saying Angelina Jolie is your mom?" "Until I talked her out of bottle feeding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #new software product, #google, #created product, #free, #buy in

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Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2010's comic on:


Tags #doubting, #challenge, #bible, #god, #scare, #planned, #Religion

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The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to work with a greater sense of urgency." Wally says, "The Bible says, "Good things come to those who wait." Wally says, "SO it's basically you against God. Let me know when you two get it sorted out." Dilbert says, "Really? There was thunder when he doubted you?" Wally says, "I synchronize my excuses to weather forecasts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2010's comic on:


Tags #intern, #pretend, #owner, #yell, #mouth open, #fire, #annoyed, #surprise, #power, #apologize, #point

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Dilbert says, "Asok, I want you to make decision as if you owned the company." Asok says, "Clear out your desk, you worthless bag of meat!" Asok says, "Sorry. The fake power went to my head for a moment."