Floaty Device Comic Strips - Page 8
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83 Results for Floaty Device
View 71 - 80 results for floaty device comic strips. Discover the best "Floaty Device" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 22,
2016
Human Intelligence
Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #humans, #arguing, #human nature, #intelligence, #deception
Transcript
Wally: I started by giving the device human intelligence. Then I added human emotions. Now it answers every question by accusing you of having a secret agenda. Boss: Just like people!
Thursday June 23,
2016
Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood
Tags #ai, #artificial intelligence, #scam, #gullible, #emotions, #deception
Transcript
CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.
Friday April 14,
2017
3 D Printer Will Save Millions
Tags #altruism, #money, #profit, #big business, #priorities, #morals, #life
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a 3-D printer for the poor that can create any kind of generic drug or medical device. It will save millions. Boss: ...of dollars? Dilbert: People. Boss: Pass.
Sunday December 31,
2017
Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #alexa, #echo, #google home, #personality, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I made a huge breakthrough in artificial intelligence. Ask the device anything. Boss: What do you want for dinner? Device: I don't care. What do you want? Boss: I was thinking maybe Chinese food. Device: I'm not in the mood for that. Boss: Then why did you say you don't care?? Device: Now I'm not even hungry. Boss: Why? What's wrong? Device: Nothing is wrong. Boss: you nailed it.
Sunday March 04,
2018
Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years
Transcript
Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.
Sunday April 15,
2018
Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
Wednesday May 16,
2018
Facial Recognition Software
Tags #facial recognition, #stupid, #insult, #obliviousness, #prototype, #intelligence
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm designing a device that uses facial recognition to detect stupidity. I need your help creating the pattern-recognition algorithm. Boss: What do you need me to do? Dilbert: Look straight ahead and smile.
Wednesday June 27,
2018
Ai For Productivity
Tags #meetings, #meeting, #productivity, #obliviousness, #business
Transcript
Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.
Monday February 11,
2019
Co2 Scrubbers
Tags #boss, #earth, #inventions, #office workers, #plants, #technology, #humans
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?
Tuesday February 12,
2019
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient
Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere
Transcript
Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?