Forget Comic Strips - Page 8
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96 Results for Forget
View 71 - 80 results for forget comic strips. Discover the best "Forget" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday January 11,
2004
Tags internet security, hole in inetrnet, work 24/7, network management, buck passer
Transcript
Dilbert: "I discovered a hole in our internet security." The Boss: "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" Dilbert: "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." The boss: "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management group." THE BOSS: "PASSING THE BUCK!!! YOU'RE A BUCK PASSER!!!!" DILBERT: "Forget it! There's no hole! It got better!" THE BOSS: "That's more like it." THE BOSS: "I fixed the internet."
Sunday November 28,
2004
Tags pointy haired boss, problem, project, upgrade denied, stupid resolution, extra disc space, conscioussness
Transcript
"When our pointy-haired boss asks you about your project, what should you say?" "I would inform him about any problems." "Big mistake. If he hears that you have a problem, he might try to help." "How can help be bad?" "Asok, how's your project?" "Good, but I need to upgrade my disk drive to store all of the image data." "Forget that. Just e-mail peices of the database to employees who have extra disc space." "Please pull on this until I lose consciousness."
Sunday December 07,
2003
Tags intern, cheap boss, full size cubicle, half size, cubicle, treats poorly, no budget, garbage can, misunderstand
Transcript
Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."
Saturday October 18,
2014
Tags deception, laziness, productivity, work ethic, sensors detect, cubicle, engineering, problem, five years, robot, boss, temporary boss
Transcript
Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: My sensors detect no work coming from this cubicle. Wally: That's because I have been working on an engineering problem in my head for five years. Robot: Are you almost done? Wally: I was, but you just made me forget all of it.
Tuesday December 16,
2014
Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is
Tags financial advisor, investing, money, stock market, swindling, convertible notes, preferred stock, call options, career ambition, ginat mosquito
Transcript
Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.
Sunday January 18,
2015
Tags arguing, job, job description, managers, manipulation, taking advantage, task, whiney quitter, resourceful entrepreneur, personal growth, outside the box, key to greatness, assigning wrong people, mow lawn, business
Transcript
Dilbert: That isn't in my job description. Boss: What?! You should never tell your boss that a task isn't in your job description! It makes you sound like a whiney quitter instead of a resourceful entrepreneur. And don't forget all the personal growth that comes from taking on new challenges. Think outside the box. That is the key to greatness. Dilbert: So, according to you, the best way to achieve greatness is by assigning the wrong people to tasks? Are there any other dumb things I need to do to achieve greatness or is one thing enough? Catbert: Did you find someone to mow your lawn yet? Boss: Almost. He's putting up a fight.
Wednesday May 06,
2015
If You Double Your Productivity
Tags productivity, work ethic, reward, wages, double-standard, money
Transcript
Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.
Monday June 29,
2015
Dilbert Goes Into Hiding
Tags hiding, forget, forgotten, forgot, friendship, relationships
Transcript
Computer: This is Dilbert with an encrypted message from my hiding place from the government. Dogbert: Dilbert who? Dilbert: I only left yesterday!!! Dogbert: I don't like to dwell in the past.
Saturday October 10,
2015
Not The Finest Moment
Tags absent mindedness, memory, remember, forget
Transcript
Boss: Seeing you reminds me that I forgot to give you the thing you asked for. But I don't remember what it was. Dilbert: Neither do I. Boss: This isn't our finest moment.
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

