Forgot Watch Comic Strips - Page 8
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Dilbert sits at a desk working on his computer while Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs watch. Dilbert says, "You dinosaurs have probably never seen a computer." Dilbert continues, "This makes me so efficient I can save hours every day." Bob asks, "What do you do with all the spare time?" Dilbert replies, "I work on the computer." Bob says, "Wow! Then you can save even more time!"
Dilbert: My boss asked me to supervise the department secretary. I don't really know how to manage people... Dogbert: Try positive reinforcement. Praise the things he does right. Trust him to make the right choices. Man: I forgot to write down your messages, so I just put a bunch of gibberish on little pieces of paper.
A man asks Dilbert, "How's the new secretary for the department working out?" Dilbert replies, "I think he's having a self-image problem." The secretary sits at his desk and says, "Sure, I'm a secretary, but watch me crush this paper clip!!"
The caption says, "Dogbert and the garbage man try to clone Dilbert back to life." The garbage man and Dogbert watch as the cloning device makes a buzzing noise and lights up. The garbage man screams, "Aaagh! Run for your life!!! It's a hideous disgusting creature!!!" Dilbert's head appears in the garbage can. Dogbert hands Dilbert a box of baking soda and asks, "Would you care for a little 'Arm and Hammer?'"
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look what I got at the joke store: exploding cigars!" Dilbert says as he lights a trick cigar, "Heh-heh . . . These are hilarious - watch." The cigar explodes. Dogbert looks at Dilbert, who is lying on the floor. Dogbert says, "I think you're supposed to get OTHER people to smoke them." Dilbert replies, "Too late now; I'm hooked."
Dawn: We have to be firm with little Rex. Watch me, Bob. Rex, behave or I'll spank you! Rex: If you spank me. I'll become a bitter and resentful child. And forget you on mother's day. Rex: I think we understand each other now. Bob: Is father's day still a go?
Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."
Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"
Dogbert lies in a bed recovering from his crash and two Elbonians sit beside the bed. One Elbonian says, "Elbonia was communist for forty years . . . We forgot our religious ways." The Elbonian continues, "When you fell from the sky I knew it was a sign from . . . Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh . . ." The other Elbonian asks, "Doug?" The Elbonian cries, "Long live Doug!!"