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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2002's comic on:


Tags #magnetic cancelation wheel, #create free energy, #rule the world, #technology

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Dilbert is fixing a contraption on the table. He says to Dogbert, "My magnetic- cancellation wheel will create unlimited free energy." Dogbert 's ears fly up and he exclaims, "Buwahaha!!! I will use this technology to rule the world!!!" Dilbert replies, "Um.. It's not yours." Dogbert asks, "What time are you going to bed?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #dimwitted twins, #free long distance, #low cost video phones

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Dogbert: "My plan is to sell low-cost video-phones to dimwitted identical twins." Dogbert continues, "I'll even throw in free long-distance calling because that's the kind of guy I am." A man looks into a mirror and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! What are you doing at my girlfriend's house????"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2003's comic on:


Tags #are years ago, #this year, #futire, #free soft drinks, #free coffee, #bottled water

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Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #evil dircetor, #comapnay, #free cholesterol screening, #bacon and cheese hoagies, #free hoagies

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"Catbert: Evil HR Director." "The company will provide free cholesterol screening on Tuesday." "At the same time, we're providing bacon and cheese hoagies across the hall. It's your choice." "I hate him, but I also love him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #typo discovered, #driving staretgy, #eberyone, #avery wong, #free delivery

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Ask: "I discovered a typo in the market forecast that is driving our company strategy." "Where it says,'Everyone would want one,' it should have said, 'Every Wong would want one." "Worse yet, I called Mr. Wong and he said he was joking." The Boss: "What if we gave him free delivery?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis

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DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #repeat customer, #rate of recidivism, #focus on marketing, #learn from experience, #free knuckle tattoo, #nicknames for women, #free book, #criminals, #dumb

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The boss: "We only have a 10% repeat customer rate whereas prisons have a 70% rate of recidivism." "We need to focus our marketing on criminals because they don't learn from experience." "Order now and get a free knuckle tattoo plus our free book 1,001 nicknames for women."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no written objectives, #free to help, #personal philosophy

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wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #demand raise, #doest care, #promises, #over promised, #free work, #suberb negiator

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Asok: I demand a raise or else I will quit today. the Boss: Goodbye. Asok: Noooo!!! please let me stay! I'll work every weekend for free!!! The boss: Okay. Dilbert: were you correct that your superior intelligence makes you a superb negotiator? Asok: Please shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

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"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."