Half In Another Glass Comic Strips - Page 8

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522 Results for Half In Another Glass

View 71 - 80 results for half in another glass comic strips. Discover the best "Half In Another Glass" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

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The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships

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Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

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Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

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Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #inefficiencies, #kaizen team, #soultions, #busy, #being ineffcient, #ignorance, #aggressive type of objectivity

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Wally: I noticed some inefficiencies in another department, so I formed a Kaizen team to find solutions. I asked some of the peopl in that department to be on the team, but they were busy being inefficient. With any luck, my ignorance of their function will be seen as an aggressive type of objectivity.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #new software vendor, #form realtionship, #take money, #ex wife

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Man: I'm your new software vendor. I'm here to form a relationship with you. That way it will be easy to take half of your money. Dilbert: Does that ever work? Man: It worked for my ex-wife.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business ethics, #public speaking, #spit take, #industrial sludge, #intern will drink

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CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #illness, #industrial sludge, #drank, #has tail, #lower iq points, #bright future, #quality assurance, #marketing, #zip line guide, #business

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Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations

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Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #mobile (cell) phones, #telephones, #vendor, #hardware, #field, #pony, #ask alice, #winners, #bad connection

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Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.