Holding Accountable Comic Strips - Page 8

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272 Results for Holding Accountable

View 71 - 80 results for holding accountable comic strips. Discover the best "Holding Accountable" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #office, #new, #sneeze, #achooo, #prune

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A woman hands Dilbert a baby and says, "Everybody in the office gets a turn holding my new baby." Ted says, "Next." Dilbert holds the baby and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Sneeze coming." Dilbert sneezes. Dilbert looks at the baby and says, "Ooh! Look what he does when you sneeze on him." Ted says, "He looks like a prune!" The mother looks shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #farmer, #windham, #saint theresa, #can, #varnish, #worshipers, #farm, #miracle, #admission, #quipped, #peanut butter, #bug

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Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. The tv newscaster says, "A farmer in Windham claims that the face of Saint Theresa appeared in a can of varnish." The reporter continues, "Worshipers are flocking to the farm to witness the miracle. 'I should charge for admission' quipped the farmer." Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters holding a can of peanut butter and says, "Guess what I found in the peanut butter." Dilbert thinks, "Please, let it be a bug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fiasco, #rare, #disease, #puppetitis, #hand, #puppet, #catch

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My date was a fiasco." Dilbert continues, "She has a rare disease called puppetitis - it makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert continues, "Apparently you can catch it by holding hands." Dilbert moves his hand like a puppet and says, "But it was worth it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #marriage, #counselor, #fight, #squeeze, #tube, #toothpaste, #empty, #rug, #bottom, #hog, #blankets, #snort, #animal, #behavior, #pig

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Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert listens as a patient says, "We have a running fight over how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste." A man who is sitting next to a woman who looks like a pig says, "I like to squeeze it from the bottom. She prefers to empty the tube on the rug and roll around in it." Dogbert asks, "At night, does she 'hog' the blankets and snort?" The man replies, "Wow, it's like you know her."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #love, #car, #later, #personality, #mildew, #spraying, #dizzy

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A woman sits next to her husband. She says, "I fell in love with him because he had a great car . . ." The woman continues, "It wasn't until later that I realized he has the personality of mildew." Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert asks, "Have you tried spraying him with Lysol?" The woman replies, "Yeah, it only makes him dizzy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #good, #articles, #paper, #magnets, #sign, #language, #write, #white, #influence, #project, #working, #minutia

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding a newspaper and says, "There are two good articles in the paper today; one about magnets, and one on sign language." The Boss continues, "I'd like you to write a white paper on how these items could influence the project you're working on." Dilbert asks, "Do you even know what project I'm working on?" The Boss replies, "I don't have time to get into minutia."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #channeling, #hostility, #art, #bowl, #fruit, #banana, #hates, #apple

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Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table holding a paintbrush and palette. Ratbert looks at his easel and says, "I'm channeling all of my pain and hostility into my art." Dogbert says, "All I see is a bowl of fruit." Ratbert makes angry brushstrokes and replies, "The banana HATES the apple."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #whacks, #knee, #patient, #crime, #society, #fault, #raise, #taxes, #feed, #poor, #stop, #nuclear, #research, #liberal, #normal, #life, #annoying, #parties

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Dogbert stands on a stool holding a reflex hammer. He says to the patient on the examining table, "Hold still while Doctor Dogbert whacks your knee." As Dogbert taps his knee, the man says, "Aak . . . Crime is society's fault . . . Raise taxes to feed the poor . . . Stop nuclear research . . . Save the . . ." The man covers his mouth. Dogbert says, "Apparently you're a knee-jerk liberal. You can live a normal life but you'll be annoying at parties."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #doctor, #patients, #turbocharged, #x-ray, #machine, #waiting, #room, #eyes, #diagnoses, #arrive, #mail, #stroke, #genius, #schedule, #hypochondriacs

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Dogbert, who is holding a stethoscope, says to a room full of people, "Attention, all patients!" Dogbert continues, "I have turbocharged the x-ray machine and aimed it at the waiting room. Everybody close your eyes for five minutes then leave. Your diagnoses will arrive by mail." Dogbert walks away saying, "It was a stroke of genius to schedule all of the hypochondriacs for the same day."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #management, #series, #hour, #late, #lecture, #across, #town, #complete, #jobs, #cattle, #rub, #moo

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Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He addresses the audience, "Welcome to the 'Dogbert Time Management Lecture Series.'" Dogbert continues, "Sorry I'm an hour late, but I was giving another lecture across town . . . In effect, I'll complete two jobs while you sit in the dark like stunned cattle." Dogbert looks down at the audience and says, "I don't mean to rub it in, but mooo . . . "