Ignoring Certain People Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Ignoring Certain People

View 71 - 80 results for ignoring certain people comic strips. Discover the best "Ignoring Certain People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1995's comic on:

Tags #bob, #self esteem, #improve, #job, #opening, #procurement dept, #hit people, #with tail, #prevent desired computers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob the Dinosaur sits on Dilbert's couch with his head down. Dilbert tells him, "Bob, your self-esteem might improve if you got a job." Bob replies, "As what?" Dilbert says, "There's an opening in our procurement department. You'd be perfect." Bob asks, "What does procurement do?" Dilbert replies, "Their job is to prevent us from getting the computers we want." Bob asks, "Can I hit people with my tail?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1995's comic on:

Tags #new dress code, #insane, #fridays are casual, #can't wear jeans, #feel good, #already own, #sadistic plot, #make people quit

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of Catbert's desk. Alice says, "I don't understand your new dress code policy, Mr. Catbert." Catbert replies, "Maybe you're insane." Catbert continues, "It's simple. Fridays are 'casual.' But you can't wear blue jeans because jeans look good and feel good and you already own several pairs." Alice replies angrily, "It's another sadistic human resources plot to make people quit!!" Catbert answers, "Say hello to unsightly panty lines."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1995's comic on:

Tags #reorganizing, #department, #fast moving, #powerless, #micro managed, #team, #less experienced people, #g forces, #killing me, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I'm reorganizing the department into fast-moving teams." Wally responds, "Good plan. We'll never realize we're powerless, micro-managed serfs after we call ourselves a 'team.'" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced people." Wally says, "I feel faster already." Alice adds, "The G-forces are killing me".

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1995's comic on:

Tags #tweaking brittle, #brittle people, #tech wroter, #forms of expression, #insult gender, #tina, #orgs of expression, #venus de milo, #Women, #lift heavy objects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I feel like tweaking some brittle people. Do you known any brittle people?" Dilbert responds, "Try Tina the tech writer. She believes that all forms of expression are an insult to her gender and her profession." Dogbert says to Tina, "The statue of 'Venus de Milo' has no arms." Tina replies angrily, "Oh, I get it. You're saying that women can't lift heavy objects."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1995's comic on:

Tags #smell bad, #perfume, #killing people, #cpr, #let me die, #Dogbert, #woman, #bad perfume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a woman's desk wearing a gas mask. He says, "I have failed in my attempt to subtly tell you that your perfume is killing people. I will try a direct approach." Dogbert removes the mask and screams, "Hey!! You smell bad!!! B-a-a-a-d!!" Dilbert collapses onto the desk and the woman asks, "Should I give you CPR?" Dogbert says, "No-o-o-o!! Let me die!!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1995's comic on:

Tags #angel, #promoted top angel, #angel on earth, #help people, #mission assigned, #halo given, #Wally, #new hair, #buns of steel, #price list

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel 1: Mister Dogbert, we've decided to send you back to earth as an angel. Your mission is to help people in need. We have given you special powers. Angel 2: We'll be watching. wally: Okay, is whats the price for the new hair plus buns of steel? Ahem. Dogbert: Ist all on the price sheet.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1995's comic on:

Tags #special powers, #angel, #Dogbert, #snap of paw, #what people want, #instinctive, #boobs on man, #aim sticks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert asks, "Are you saying that you're an angel now? And you have special powers to help people." Dilbert replies, "Exactly. I instinctively know what people want and I can give it to them with a snap of the paw." Dogbert snaps in the direction of the waitress. Dilbert asks, "Are you having any trouble controlling it?" Dogbert says, "My aim stinks." Behind them, a waiter looks shocked to see that he suddenly has large breasts. The waitress looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1995's comic on:

Tags #revoke angel status, #bad name, #healing, #ugly people look attractive, #too late, #old look, #beautiful

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk. A voice from heaven says, "We've decided to revoke your angel status. You're giving us all a bad name." Dogbert says, "Your problem is that you define 'healing' too narrowly. I'm making ugly people look attractive, and that's important, too." Wally approaches Dogbert's desk. Wally's head has been replaced with Dogbert's head. He asks Dogbert, "Is it too late to go back to my old look?" Dogbert replies, "Why? You're beautiful!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1995's comic on:

Tags #same task, #other people, #clever ploy, #create healthy internal competition, #average cauliflower, #brain, #fruit kingdom

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Wally and I have a bet about why you assigned me to the same task as three other people." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's a clever ploy to create healthy internal competition. Wally thinks you're just dumber than the average cauliflower." The Boss says, "May I point out that cauliflower is the brain of the fruit kingdom." Wally looks at Dilbert and says, "Yes!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 1995's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #field support people, #inferior technology, #most attractive feamle, #prodcuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a sales rep. As they look through some folders, the woman says, "On one hand, my company does use inferior technology in our products . . ." The salesperson continues, "But on the other hand, I'm the most attractive female who has paid attention to you this year." Dilbert responds angrily, "What kind of engineers do you think we are??!" Wally asks, "Do you have pictures of your field support people?"