In Your Mind Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for in your mind comic strips. Discover the best "In Your Mind" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #iso 9000 project, #hand picked, #manger, #project

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Dilbert sits at a desk and says, "Thank you for coming to the 'ISO 9000' project kick-off meeting." Dilbert continues, "Each of you was hand-picked by your manager for this project because . . ." Dilbert faces a table of strange people and says, "Well . . . never mind why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #offcie, #opening in security, #rat is insulted, #ratbert, #suited career, #gnaw on cord, #business

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Ratbert sits across from a desk and says, "Outwardly, yes, I'm a rat. But my bubbly personality and my utter lack of skill make me well-suited for a career in marketing." Ratbert asks, "Would you mind terribly if I gnawed on your phone cord?" The person at the desk says, "We have an opening in lobby security." Ratbert holds the phone cord in his mouth and says, "I'm insulted!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #entire computer, #silicon chip, #ate computer, #cyborg

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Dilbert is seated at his desk and Ratbert stands on the desk beside him. Dilbert shows Ratbert something in his palm and says, "Look Ratbert. An entire computer has been baked into one silicon chip." Ratbert grabs the chip and eats it, saying, "Thanks! I don't mind if I do!" Dilbert says angrily, "You ate my computer!" Ratbert holds his arms out straight, stares ahead and replies, "I'm a cyborg."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #quantify contributions, #designing future products, #billion daollars, #track numbers, #boss, #Dilbert

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The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I'm asking everybody to quantify their contributions to revenue. Your pay will depend on it." The Boss continues, "I realize this is hard to quantify because you're designing future products but . . . " Dilbert writes a figure on the paper and says, "Here you go." The Boss reads what Dilbert wrote and says, "A billion dollars? It's as if you cynically believe we can't track these numbers." Dilbert replies, "That crossed my mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #study options, #project zebra, #make recommendations

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to study our options for Project 'Zebra' and make a recommendation." Both the Boss and Dilbert think, "Translation: 'Read my mind then recommend the option I've already decided on.'" Dilbert answers, "I'll get right on it!" He thinks, "Translation: 'I am doomed. I will go look for naughty pictures on the Internet instead.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dehumanization, #invisible to humans, #fix, #wear a bag, #perfect solution, #hear you

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Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert waving his arms. Dilbert says, "The dehumanization of my job has rendered me invisible to humans. Only you can see me, Dogbert." Dilbert asks, "How can we fix this?" Dogbert replies, "You could wear a bag on your head when you're around me." Dilbert clenches his fists and answers, "That's not the fix I had in mind." Dogbert responds, "It's not a perfect solution. I'd still be able to hear you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #time sheet, #increments, #15 minutes, #meetings, #shower time thinking, #designing circuits, #complaining

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Dilbert hands his timesheet to a secretary and says, "Here's my timesheet, filled out in increments of fifteen minutes." Dilbert says, "As usual, I coded the useless hours spent in meetings as 'work,' whereas the time I spent in the shower designing circuits in my mind as 'non-work.'" Dilbert continues, "Interestingly, even the time I spend complaining about my lack of productivity is considered 'work.'" The secretary thinks, "I hate my life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new company slogan, #act like you own the comapny, #fired marketing dept, #security escort

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The Boss, Wally, Alice and Dilbert are sitting at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm happy to report that I have embraced the new company slogan 'Act like you own the company.'" Wally continues, "This morning I fired the marketing department and had security escort them out." The Boss replies, "That's not exactly what we had in mind . . ." As a security guard taps on the Boss's shoulder, Wally says, "Fortunately I anticipated your reaction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1995's comic on:


Tags #heaven, #Dogbert, #relaxed standards, #automatic, #halo, #frisbees, #angel, #pearly gates

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Dogbert stands on a cloud across from an angel at a podium. The angel says, "Welcome to heaven, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Wow, it looks like you guys relaxed your standards!" The angel says, "Dogs are automatic. No matter what you do, there's always a place in heaven for every little dog." Dogbert takes the angel's halo off and stands on the podium. The angel puts his hands on his hips and says angrily, "I'd like that back now, if you don't mind!!" Dogbert says, "What kind of distance can you get with these little 'Frisbees?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dweeb, #humanity, #tube, #sock, #inventors, #ambiguity, #good

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Be honest, Dogbert. Do you think I'm a gifted inventor . . ." Dilbert asks, ". . . Or just a pathetic dweeb who contributes nothing to humanity?" Dogbert says, "Well . . . Uh . . . I think . . ." Dogbert says, "In my mind, you are the 'tube sock of inventors.'" Dilbert says, "Really? Gosh . . . Thank you . . . Wait, that's good, right? Of course, it must be good." Dogbert says, "Ambiguity succeeds where honesty dares not venture."