Insignificant Advice Comic Strips - Page 8
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194 Results for Insignificant Advice
View 71 - 80 results for insignificant advice comic strips. Discover the best "Insignificant Advice" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 23,
2019
Hard Work Is The Key
Tags #Advice, #office, #office workers, #success, #difficult
Transcript
Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?
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Thursday June 06,
2019
Doctor Appointment
Tags #business, #doctor, #office, #office workers, #medical advice, #essential oil, #attitude, #kava
Transcript
carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.
Saturday August 24,
2019
Nervous About Presentation
Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.
Sunday November 17,
2019
Dilbert Gets A Mentor
Tags #managers & supervisors, #Advice, #mentor, #productivity, #operations, #vice president, #pressure, #trick
Transcript
boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.
Wednesday September 09,
2020
Spreading Virus
Tags #coronavirus, #covid-19, #business, #health, #spread, #face mask, #happiness, #immune system, #medical, #Advice, #doctor, #manage
Transcript
dogbert: they say the best way to manage the coronavirus is to spread it to people you dislike. the happiness you get from that will boost your immune system. dilbert: maybe i'll get medical advice from an actual doctor. dogbert: they leave out the good stuff.
Thursday April 20,
1989
Tags #Advice, #office workers, #presentation
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm really nervous about this presentation for the Big Boss. Got any tips for me?" Dogbert replies, "Remember to bring a bunch of coins to jangle self-consciously in your pockets." Dogbert continues, ". . . Avoid eye contact and don't pause to explain your acronyms." Dilbert says, "I wish I could tell when you're kidding."
Tuesday September 26,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #party, #act, #naturally, #scrutiny
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."
Wednesday May 09,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #exercise, #perfect, #health, #professionally, #cigarettes, #tobacco, #tobacco company
Transcript
Dilbert sits on an examining table in his boxer shorts. The doctor says, "Apparently you ignored my advice and got no exercise." The doctor continues, "But you're in perfect health, which really annoys me professionally." The doctor continues, "I'm prescribing two packs of cigarettes per day . . . Don't cross me again." Dilbert looks at the reader.
Friday June 01,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #monogamy, #field, #shuttle, #Dogbert, #rides, #uno, #love, #Advice
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm just a one-woman kind of guy." Dilbert continues, "Some guys like to play the field. Not me. I'm happy with just one woman." Dilbert continues, "Just one. Uno. That's best for me." Dogbert says, "You can take her for rides in the Space Shuttle you'll never have either."
Friday June 08,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dawn, #bob, #dinosaurs, #cult, #trucks, #questioning
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs asks, "Uh . . . Dilbert, could we get your advice?" Bob says, "We just joined Dogbert's new cult." Dawn says, "And he ordered us to kill each other for questioning him." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Maybe you could just shove each other in front of trucks."