Isn't Productive Comic Strips - Page 8

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389 Results for Isn't Productive

View 71 - 80 results for isn't productive comic strips. Discover the best "Isn't Productive" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss made pass, #cat ate ring, #family in coma, #irs audit, #seek relief, #woes, #anti woe cologne

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Alice: I'm going to seek relief from my many woes by sharing them with you. My entire family is in a coma....The cat ate my wedding ring,,,,The IRS is auditing us....my boss made a pass at me. It isn't working, you aren't absorbing my woes. Dilbert: Im wearing into woe cologne.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exaggerating accomplishments, #failing, #monkey, #more humiliating, #stupid monkey, #typical, #zimbu, #animals

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The Boss: Our CEO cancelled his visit, He's sending his top aid, ZIMBU the monkey in his place. Dilbert: Isn't that typical? I spent a week exaggerating my accomplishments for this now he sends a stupid monkey! what could be more humiliating than trying to suck up to a monkey? Monkey: Failing at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best assets, #competitions worst, #employees on job, #hidden camera, #imply, #they work for competition, #ad agency, #dogbert's ad agency

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Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Your commercial should compare your best assets to the competition's worst. we'll use a hidden camera to film your employees on the job. The Boss: I missed something here... Dogbert: we'll imply that they all work for the competition . this isn't a documentary.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assist me, #cartoonists disclaimer, #cucumber mutants, #disclaimer, #not funny, #quite a pickle, #world domination

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Dogbert: I created you cucumber mutants to assist me in my bid for world domination! Bulletin I interrupt this strip because the whole giant cucumber theme isn't as fun as I thought it would be. lets go directly to the big finish. scott DOGBERT: Then Waldo grabbed the "salad shooter" there were peels everywhere! Dilbert: sounds like quite a pickle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flicking fingers, #joyous celebration, #linked to pay, #success sounds like, #snappy sounds

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Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand in Ted's cubicle flicking their fingers. Dilbert says, "Look, Ted! We get paid the same as you but all we're doing is standing around and flicking our fingers." Dilbert continues, "Come join us and flick your fingers in joyous celebration that our performance is not linked to our pay." The Boss sits at his desk listening to the flicking and thinks, "I don't know what success sounds like, but I'll bet this isn't it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #online data base, #compatible, #computer, #software, #red blotches, #poison ivy, #technology, #engineering

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DOGBERTS TECH SUPPORT Dogbert sits at a desk using a computer. He says into the phone, "According to my online database, our product isn't compatible with your computer." Dogbert continues, "It's also incompatible with all other computers and all other software including our own." Dogbert continues, "And those red blotches on your hands - that's because our box is made of poison ivy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality award, #killed by sea turtle, #went snorkeling

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company has decided to compete for the 'Millard Bullrush Quality Award.'" Wally asks, "Bullrush? Isn't he the politician who went snorkeling and got killed by a sea turtle?" The Boss replies, "They're faster than they look." Wally says to Dilbert, "I think we can win this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality contest, #everything is a lie

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Dilbert hands the Boss a report and says, "I finished our write-up for the national Millard Bullrush 'Quality' Contest." Dilbert says, "It took two weeks of otherwise productive time, and everything but our address is a lie." Dilbert asks, "Do you know what irony is?" The Boss replies, "I send my shirts to a service."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethical question, #telecommuting, #owe employer, #saving planet, #not driving, #meeting, #business

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Dogbert sits at Dilbert's desk at home. Dilbert stands in front of the desk holding a cup of coffee and dressed in a bathrobe. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question about telecommuting, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Do I owe my employer eight productive hours, or do I only need to match the two productive hours I would have in the office?" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the desk chair together. Dogbert answers, "Well, when you factor in how you're saving the planet by not driving, you only owe one hour." Dilbert adds, "And this meeting counts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #finish program, #fast, #train him, #prodcutive, #big glowing thing

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Dilbert sits at his desk and turns around as the Boss enters. The Boss says, "We need to finish your program twice as fast, so I'm adding a person to help you." The Boss says as he leaves Dilbert's cubicle, "You might need to train him a little before he's productive." Dilbert waves his arms as he thinks, "Warning! Warning! Dr. Smith." Dilbert sits at his desk with the new co-worker, a small man with big ears and a disheveled shirt collar. Pointing at the monitor, he asks Dilbert, "Tell me again what the big glowing thing is."