Jury Room Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

376 Results for Jury Room

View 71 - 80 results for jury room comic strips. Discover the best "Jury Room" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greetings earthlings, #planetary annihilation, #break room, #new coffee stirrers

View Transcript

Transcript

"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #break even, #kudos, #motion sensors, #break room, #calculate energy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Kudos to Ted for his suggestion to put motion sensors on the lights in the break room. Dilbert: Hold it! I calculate that the energy savings are offset by the lost productivity of the meeting. The Boss: We have to burn the plaque for heat just to break even.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #pizza, #mens room, #ipad, #newspaper, #pizza delivery, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Have you seen Wally? Dilbert: He's been in the men's room for two days. He used to leave when he was done reading the paper, but he switched to an iPad and now he doesn't know when he's finished. Alice: He has to come out to eat. Pizza Guy: I have a pizza for the third stall.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mathematics, #patents, #patent infreingement, #jury duty, #award

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #etiquette & ethics, #telepresnece, #carbon based units, #on line, #third stall, #mens room, #etiquette

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I told Wally he could use my body for telepresence. He's coming online now. Wally: Greetings, carbon-based units. I come to you from the third stall in the men's room. Boss: This is what happens when our techhnology evolves faster than our etiquette.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #five year plan, #five minutes, #office, #room, #conference room

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jury selection, #big eyebrows, #dumb as you look, #manipulate, #love, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conference room, #where hope goes to die, #the rectangle of futility

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "I'm here for an interview in a conference room named..." The man says, 'Where Hope Goes to Die'" Carol says, "It's the first one past 'The Rectangle of Futility.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #office workers, #conference room chairs, #cubicles, #steal chairs, #steal

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Carol I want you to take any conference room chairs that re in cubicles and put them back where they belong. Carol: People are going to steal the chairs back as soon as I leave. The boss: Maybe, but do it anyways. Carol: So... we agree that there's no way to tell if I really did it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unholy alliance, #plan, #meeting room, #love, #cheese, #happy, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I propose an unholy alliance." Carol says, "You have my attention." Wally says, "Reserve every meeting room under my name for the year. That way you won't need to do any scheduling, and I won't need to attend any meetings." Wally says, "Don't panic; that strange feeling is you falling in love with me." Carol says, "It feels like I'm eating cheese!"