Key Grip Comic Strips - Page 8
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102 Results for Key Grip
View 71 - 80 results for key grip comic strips. Discover the best "Key Grip" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 03,
1997
Tags #employee rock climbing seminar, #valuable teamwork, #skills, #rock climbing, #open jars
Transcript
An instructor standing next to a rock climbing wall says, "Welcome to the employee rock climbing seminar." The instructor says, "You'll learn valuable teamwork skills by doing dangerous things unrelated to your job." Dilbert, Wally, and Alice look skeptical. Wally says, "Isn't rock climbing a solo activity?" Dilbert says, "I'll help identify your body." Wally says, "It seems like you need a strong grip to climb rocks." Wally says, 'I can't even open jars unless I use special tools." Wally grips his arm and screams, "Ow! Cramp!" Wally says, "I'm disoriented by the pain!" He falls into the others and knocks them down. Dilbert says, "Hey!" The instructor awards them their certificates and says, "Here are your diplomas. Now get out." Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a heap on the floor. They all think in unison, "Go team!"
Wednesday July 21,
1999
Tags #tina tech writer, #derogatory, #condescending email, #stomach ache, #flee country
Transcript
Caption: "Tina the tech writer" Tina types at her computer and thinks, "My derogatory and condescending e-mail will set things right" Tina clicks a key and thinks, "Send!" Tina looks sick, places her hand on her stomach and thinks, "Everytime I send e-mail, I get a stomachache and an urge to flee the country."
Saturday July 24,
1999
Tags #new software, #gently warm, #key board, #easier, #laptop lighter, #market driven, #create diversion
Transcript
The boss pionts to a projection of a steaming keyboard. The boss says, "OUr new software will gently warm your keyboard so the keys are easier to press." Dilber and Wally listen. The boss says, "We'll budnle it with our software that makes your laptop lighter." The boss says, "In a word, we have become "market driven"" Wally whispers, to Dilbert, "Creat a diversion. I'll run for help."
Thursday September 07,
2000
Tags #amoeba, #boss, #cry, #cubicle, #doing work, #gets fired, #key board, #one cell organism, #secrete
Transcript
The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.
Thursday September 14,
2000
Tags #email, #addiction, #monkey on back, #resist, #key board with foot
Transcript
Asok: I have an email monkey on my back, but I can quit whenever I want. I don't need to check it every minute. I can resist. But Look! The stupid monkey hot my keyboard with his foot!
Friday August 10,
2001
Tags #ergonomic evaluation, #key board, #supposed to hurt, #feel hands, #whole body numb
Transcript
The Boss is sitting at his desk. Asok the intern asks stiffly, "May I have an ergonomic evaluation of my chair and keyboard?" The Boss responds, "Asok, work is supposed to hurt. That's how you know you're doing it right." Asok exclaims, "I can't feel my hands!" To which The Boss replies, "My whole body is numb!"
Tuesday January 20,
2004
Tags #phone calls, #plane, #hello jack, #hi jack, #misunderstood, #scared people, #flight attendant, #alraming, #irplane, #learning from trip
Transcript
The Boss: what were your key learnings from the trip? Dilbert: I learned that there are people you shouldn't call from a plane. Earlier that day Dilbert: Hi Jack!
Tuesday February 03,
2004
Tags #menagerlike work, #criticize, #reorganize, #key board, #hot slef, #noredom, #offcie, #re organizing
Transcript
The Boss: It's been a few hours since I've done anything managerish. I could criticize someone...nah. I could have a meeting...nah. Im reorganizing the department. Dilbert: excuse me while i beat myself with my keyboard.
Saturday January 01,
2005
Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."
Wednesday February 23,
2005
Tags #sales target, #have bad credit, #bonuses, #accounts receivable, #getting bonuses
Transcript
Dilbert: "The only way to meet our sales target is by selling to customers who have bad credit." The Boss: "That's okay, we'll get our bonuses before anyone realizes that the accounts recievables are worhtless." The Boss: "The key to getting bonusses is acting surprised later." Dilbert: "I feel unclean."