Last Three Times Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for last three times comic strips. Discover the best "Last Three Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good product design, #gave three, #leadership, #product is bad, #stock willplunge, #totally meaningless, #signed card, #happy birthday

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Asok and Dilbert stand in front of the boss' desk. Dilbert says, "we need six weeks to make a good product design." Asok says, "You gave us three." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your leadership, the products is bad, our stock will plunge, and our lives are totally meaningless." Dilbert says, "Oh, and happy birthday." Asok holds a letter out and says, "We all signed a card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dont understand, #follow a process, #failed thirty times, #optimism

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Dilbert stands at desk of The Boss and says, "Here's what I don't understand..." Dilbert says, "You just asked me to follow a process that has failed thirty times in a row and you know it." Dilbert says, "At what point can this no longer be called 'optimism'?" The Boss says, "When it succeeds?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #back in 10, #managers, #over communicate, #times of uncertainty, #you're fired, #ted fired

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The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge severance package, #last four emplyees, #get fired, #can retire

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Ken says to Wally and Dilbert, "I got huge severance packages from the last four employers. Ken proudly goes on to say, "If I get fired one more time I can retire." The Boss approaches Ken from behind and says, "Ken, we need to talk." Ken snaps his finger and shouts, "Ka-ching!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three bulls points, #summarize, #project, #invent words, #new words, #splrgy, #noobah, #pizkwat

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Dilbert speaks at the podium. "I've been asked to summarize my project into three bullet points." Dilbert says, "I had to invent some new words." Pointing to these words (Splurby, Noobah, Pizkwat), Dilbert says "Believe me, you don't want to be any of these things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of month, #lulu, #overcame odds, #to win, #name randomly picked, #victory, #last month

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The Boss: The employee of the month is LULU. LULU overcame long odds to win this award. I.E. her name was randomly picked. Wally: Id protest but I don't want to taint my victory of last month.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three days, #repair guy, #under desk, #uninvited, #feeds licorice, #animals, #feed animals, #i.s. people

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Wally asks Noriko, "How long has he been under your desk?" Noriko replies, "Three days." Wallys asks Noriko, "Did you feed him?" Noriko answers, "Just some licorice." Wally says to Noriko, "You should never feed the I.S. people." The I.S. employee responds, "More licorice!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgraded three things, #broke three things, #terms, #computer work

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The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hire another engineer, #last minute, #cost saving s awards, #plan to hire, #work twice as hard

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I had planned to hire another engineer." The Boss continues, "At the last minute I rememered I could just make you work twice as hard." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Maybe you could nominate me for one of those cost saving awards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brenda utthead, #email addresses, #first inutial, #plus last name, #whiner, #butthead

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Brenda Utthead: I know our email addresses are supposed to be our first initial plans our last name. But could you make an exception? The Boss: No. That Brenda Utthead is quite a whiner,