Layoff Planning Comic Strips - Page 8

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114 Results for Layoff Planning

View 71 - 80 results for layoff planning comic strips. Discover the best "Layoff Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #executive golf tournamnet, #cigar smokers, #foursome, #golf cart, #gas leak, #baked lunch, #beans, #flint

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Carol: "I finished planning the annual executive golf tournament." "I put all of the cigar smokers in your foursome in case your golf cart has a gas leak." "Lunch is baked beans and sauerkraut, and I bought you some golf balls made of flint."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business

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ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2007's comic on:


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"I spent my entire day planning and scheduling future work, and no time doing work." "Tomorrow I plan to spend the entire day explaining why I didn't have time to do work." "It hurts less if I call it a plan." "What happens if you call it your purpose?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #employees, #late, #chronically late, #pre meeting, #trick, #chronic lateness, #power, #selfish, #bad attitude, #business

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Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #financial planner, #health care, #squalor, #diversified portfolio, #bacon, #secrets, #planning, #dog advice

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Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: With advances in health care, you could live to be 200. If you have a good financial plan, only the last 120 years will be spent in squalor. I recommend a diversified portfolio. And bacon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #merger talks, #business as usually, #happy, #yell, #take off shirt, #take off tie, #wide eyes, #surprise, #outburst, #shirtless, #bare chest, #plan

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The Boss says, "We're in merger talks, but it's business as usual until it goes through." Wally says, "I'm free! My efforts won't influence my rewards!" The Boss says, "I said business as usual." Wally says, "I was totally planning to do this today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #project, #coordinate, #give up, #business

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The Boss says, "Make sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager." The Boss says, "And also the clients, the account execs, the project leaders, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing, and I.T." Dilbert says, "All I heard was 'give up.'" The Boss says, "Let's meet again in a year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new product, #military, #weapon demo, #new york harbor, #light show, #statue of liberty, #stump, #newspaper, #Entertainment

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Coworker says, "We're planning to introduce our new military product with a light show in New York harbor." Coworker says, "Wally, can you handle the weapon demo and the light show?" Wally says, "Sure. What could go wrong?" One week later Dilbert says, "They're calling it 'The Stump of Liberty.'" Wally says, "No one is saying it was a boring show."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2009's comic on:


Tags #retirement, #planning, #greed, #celebrating, #layoffs

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm nearing retirement, so fire the research and development group." Dogbert says, "The cost cutting will goose my stock options so I can cash out before the death spiral." The boss says, "Please don't make the noise." Dogbert says, "Too late! Cha-Ching!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2009's comic on:


Tags #wanting, #award, #scheme, #planning, #lazy

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I want to win a humanitarian award." Dogbert says, "But I don't want to touch anyone who is sick. Or poor. Or unattractive." The Boss says, "Do you want to donate your time or money?" Dogbert says, "I'm hoping to donate your time and the stockholders' money."