Long In Back Comic Strips - Page 8
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Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."
Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."
Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."
Caption: "Dogbert gets a loan" Dogbert sits across the desk from a bank executive. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "I plan to buy all the copies of hte book I authored, thus making it a bestseller." Dogbert says, "And I'd like to use your house as collateral. Unless it's a dump." The banker says, "How are you planning to pay us back?" dogbert says, "Do you take books?"
Wally, Asok and Dilbert are having lunch. Wally says, "My long term plan is to drift into a job where I have no impact on anything." Asok looks faint, slouched back in his chair. A doctor holds a plunger and says, "He was too uninspired to finish swallowing."
The boss is in the cafeteria, carrying his tray of food and approaching Dilbert, who is sitting alone eating. The boss asks, "Do you mind if I pretend to like you? I hear it increases productivity." The boss is sitting next to him now, staring with a smile. Dilbert says, "I need to go back to my cubicle now." The boss, still staring and smiling thinks, "It's working!"
The boss, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table. The boss says: "I signed up for an executive MBA program." The boss says: "It's one-hour long and I get a degree from a prestigious university." The boss says: "I'd better run. I'm already a half-hour late."
The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.