Lower Blood Pressure Comic Strips - Page 8

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View 71 - 80 results for lower blood pressure comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Blood Pressure" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #illness, #industrial sludge, #drank, #has tail, #lower iq points, #bright future, #quality assurance, #marketing, #zip line guide, #business

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Dilbert: He's been like this since our CEO made him drink a glass of our industrial sludge at a press conference. It looped a few points off his I.Q., but he's still has a bright future in quality assurance or maybe marketing. And with his new tail he'd be an awesome zip line guide.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #discrimination, #Women, #containment unit, #steel vault, #Men, #co workers, #job, #condesending, #freak out, #death, #business, #medical

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CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #study, #pillow, #watching, #standards, #encore, #presentation, #celebrity, #burping, #works

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Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. The announcer says, "A new study shows that sitting on a pillow and watching television . . ." The announcer continues, "Can lower your standards . . ." The announcer continues, "Stay tuned for an encore presentation of 'Celebrity Burping.'" Dogbert thinks, "I guess it all works out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #illegal, #search, #car, #home, #drugs, #ethical, #problemblood, #body, #cafeteria

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Starting today, the company will begin random drug testing." The Boss continues, "Although it would be illegal to search your car or home for illegal drugs . . ." The Boss concludes, "We have found no ethical problem with sucking the blood out of your body. Results will be posted in the cafeteria."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #company's, #privacy, #johnson, #cheetos, #diet pepsi, #grass, #skirts, #lawnmower

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Dilbert asks Wally, "Don't you think the company's drug testing policy is a violation of our privacy?" Wally replies, "I don't do drugs." The Boss reads a report and says, "Johnson, your blood test results are in. Looks like you live on Cheetos and Diet Pepsi . . . Your wife doesn't love you . . . And whoa . . What's this?" The Boss continues, "Apparently, you like to dress in grass skirts and make fun of the lawnmower."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money

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The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job performance, #reflects on boss, #balance of power, #get fired, #low job perfromance, #wally hold hostage

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I suddenly realized that MY job performance reflects on YOUR career." Wally continues, "The balance of power has shifted. Unless I get what I want, I'll lower my performance until you get fired." The Boss responds, "Ha! There's no way you could lower your job performance." Wally says, "Curse your eyes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laptop in case, #anything lighter, #delete files, #technically

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The Boss carries a laptop in a case. He says to Wally, "This laptop computer weighs too much. Do we have anything lighter?" Wally asks, "Why don't you just delete files to lower the weight on that one?" As he works on the laptop the Boss says, "That's a thought." Wally says, "Technically, I only asked why not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dna smaple, #fatal genetic problems, #hurt productivity, #project dealine

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The Boss holds a syringe. He says to Dilbert, "Drop your trousers and turn around. I need a DNA sample." Dilbert bends over looking angry. As draws Dilbert's blood, the Boss says, "We're scanning for any fatal genetic problems that could hurt productivity." Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding the test results and says, "Uh . . . we decided to move your project deadline up a week." Dilbert's hair stands up straight.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catbert the hr director, #invent illogical policies, #annoy emplyees, #diabolical dress code, #question sanity, #casual clothes, #wally insane

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Catbert is at his desk. He thinks, "I think I'll invent some illogical policies to annoy employees." Catbert continues thinking, "My diabolical new dress code will make them question their own sanity." Reading a document, Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So, casual clothes DON'T lower our stock value . . . but only if worn on Fridays . . . unless somebody sees us . . . Got it?" Wally puts his hands on his head and replies, "I think I'm insane."