Lower Staus Comic Strips - Page 8

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95 Results for Lower Staus

View 71 - 80 results for lower staus comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Staus" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2006's comic on:


Tags #plant, #cucbilce, #coffeedregs, #staus reprts, #decaf, #tree

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"Wally, what are you feeding the plant outside your cubicle?" "It's a mulch of coffee dregs and my shredded status reports." "You might want to switch to decaf."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2006's comic on:


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Google Headquarters "Isn't it a little bit evil to kill Dilbert with our death ray?" "Good point...What if I just blast the space station out of orbit and make it land on his house?" "I'll bet you ten billion dollars you can't." "And the lower has to introduce himself as 'the dumb one.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2006's comic on:


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Is it more important to follow our documented process or to meet the deadline? "I only ask because our deadline is arbitrary and our documented process was pulled out of someone's lower torso." "Where's your artificial sense of urgency?" "Teamwork killed it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cubicle workplaces, #lowers intelligence, #work ethic, #office, #boss

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Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #boss, #idea, #low staus, #not enjoy it, #power, #speaking truth to power, #speaks back

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Asok: I have a great idea. Would you like to hear it? The boss: Well, considering your low status in the company and how busy I am I would not enjoy it one bit. Asok: I like speaking truth to power, but I don't like when it speaks back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #baby shower, #triplets, #gift, #cubicle, #book, #Environment, #carbon footprint

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Tina says, "We're having a baby shower for Kim on Friday." Dilbert says, "I barely know her." Tina says, "She's having triplets. Try to bring an appropriate gift for once." Kim says, "It's a? book on how to lower my carbon footprint?" Dilbert says, "You're killing us all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #burden to people, #dutch sandwhich, #less appealing name, #tax attorneys, #transfer tax, #taxes

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Dogbert: I can lower your corporate taxes by using a strategy that tax attorneys call "the dutch sandwich" and Im not vice making that up. So...that would transfer our tax burden to people who can't afford tax attorneys. Dogbert: yeah....their sandwich has a less appealing name.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2009's comic on:


Tags #choking, #meeting, #violence, #pain, #stupidity, #business

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The boss says, "I rehired Dilbert for a salary much lower than his previous pay." The boss says, "That makes the rest of you overpaid and expendable. Please welcome him back." Alice says, "How bout a hug?" Alice says, "Today you learned that hugging has a dark side." Dilbert says, "Ow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #pay, #salary, #money, #complaining, #sub-par, #angry, #promise, #mean, #cruel

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The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #ergonomics, #bad posture, #golem, #boneless chicken, #business

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Man says, "Hello, Wally. Human resources assigned me to be your ergo buddy." Wally says, "My what?" Man says, "I'll observe while you work. Then give you suggestions on improving your ergonomics." Man says, "Your posture is all wrong, and your keyboard needs to be lower." Man says, "Your bad ergonomic practices have turned you into a golem." Wally says, "Golem?" Man says, "It means a shapeless mass imbued with life. A lump. Clod, or fool." Man says, "It's right here on my checklist. After "Boneless chicken." Wally says, "Does that say you're supposed to pour salt on me until I dry up and die?" Man says, "Let's pretend you didn't see that."