Luck Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

82 Results for Luck

View 71 - 80 results for luck comic strips. Discover the best "Luck" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new version, #every feature, #current version, #leapfrog competition, #better products, #pile of crud

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Hey, it's a customer!" The boss: "You're in luck; our next version has every feature you'll ever want!" Man: "It does?" "I was ready to buy your current version... but I guess I'll wait." The Boss: "When will our new version be ready?" Dilbert: "In a year." "The new version will leapfrog our competition." Man: "Leapfrog? That implies that they have better products right now." The Boss: "BUY OUR PRODUCT, YOU STINKIN' PILE OF CRUD!!" "SLAP!" "I have to run. Try not to blow the sale."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #ideas for boosting morale, #employee pot luck, #schedule conflcits, #brings small meal, #pviep

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Does anyone have any ideas for boosting morale?" Wally raises his hand, "Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!" Wally says, "The employee potluck lunch that we had last year was almost perfect." Wally continues, "But we only had it once and some people had schedule conflicts." Wally continues, "I call my idea the 'Permanent Virtual Individual Employee Potluck' or P.V.I.E.P for short." Wally continues, "Every day, each employee brings a small meal in a bag and eats it whenever he gets hungry." The Boss says, "You already do that. " Wally replies, "And look how happy I am!" The Boss says, "Okay, who is going to organize the P.V.I.E.P.?" Wally responds, "Alice hasn't helped yet." Alice cringes in anger.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #how-to, #best selliners, #leadership, #sociopathic tendencies, #personality disorders, #read books, #coffee, #metting, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #deception, #new business strategy, #laptop, #coffee shop, #public access, #wifi, #hackers, #strategy document, #sell secrets, #competitors, #business strategy, #break in

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally, I want you to create a new business strategy for the company. Then use your laptop in a coffee shop that has public access to wi-fi. Hackers will get into your computer in minutes and steal your strategy document. With any luck, the hackers will sell those secrets to our competitors. Obviously, we would never use any strategy you created, so our competitors will be misled. Wally: So... you want me to do a bad job on an assignment and then go drink coffee? Boss: Can you handle that? Wally: I like my odds. Dilbert: Why do you want a copy of our business strategy? Wally: It'll save a step.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #criminals, #office workers, #work ethic, #cesspool, #horrible office conditions, #better choices, #career criminal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.

Tina's Soul Will Live On

Thank you for voting.
Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

Turn Down Service

Thank you for voting.
Turn Down Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #pun, #wordplay, #hotel, #turn-down

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to decline your turn-down service tonight so I can have some privacy. Voice: We're going to do it anyway. Good luck finding your stuff after we randomly move it. Dilbert: What? You can't do that! I hereby turn down your turn down of your turn-down service! Voice: Say goodbye to your phone charger!

Wally Teaches Success

Thank you for voting.
Wally Teaches Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #success, #luck, #money, #winning, #mentor, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Can you mentor me on how to be successful? Wally: Your best strategy is a combination of lying and being related to rich people. Asok: What is the second-best strategy? Wally: Crime is second. Winning a lottery is third.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

Thank you for voting.
Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.