Medical Expenses Comic Strips - Page 8

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

205 Results for Medical Expenses

View 71 - 80 results for medical expenses comic strips. Discover the best "Medical Expenses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #about co workers, #donuts, #get prompted, #say bad things, #weight, #woman, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT: If you want to get promoted , say bad things about co workers so you look better by comparison. Dilbert: Geez, Lisa, It looks like you've been hotting the donuts pretty hard lately. Dilbert: heh-hehe...big things are coming my way soon.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carpal tunnel, #health care, #money, #surgery, #constant agony, #false alarm, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Employee: So now I have carpal tunnel syndrome... The Boss: ZZZZ Employee: you don't care about the health of your employees! All you care about is money!! The Boss: money? Employee: I need surgery! Im in constant again!! The boss: False alarm. zzz

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carpal tunnel, #surgery, #carpool, #room in carpool, #permanent damges, #wear braces, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

"I hear you need a carpool urgently." "No, I need 'carpal tunnel surgery'." "The repetitive motion of typing has caused permanent damage. I have to wear braces until the surgery." "There's no room in my carpool."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assets ratio, #boost, #security department, #brisk redcution, #joking, #den

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We need to boost our return-on-assets ratio." Wally says, "Let's eliminate the security department. That would cut expenses while allowing for a brisk reduction in assets." As they walk away, Dilbert asks Wally, "When are you planning to tell him you were joking?" Wally responds, "After I furnish my den."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas of 92, #mall, #filberts dad, #different not worse, #death, #loss, #missing, #lives at mall, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz are having tea with Dilbert's mother, who says, "It's really different around here since we lost Dilbert's dad." Liz asks, "When did he die?" Dilbert says, "He's not dead. We lost him at the mall, Christmas of '92." Liz looks shocked and asks, "Shouldn't you be looking for him?" Dilbert's mom replies, "I said it's different, not worse."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #dog, #pet, #sick, #animals, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman walking down the sidewalk drops something. Dilbert bends over to pick it up and says, "Excuse me, miss!" The woman turns around and thinks, "Uh oh . . ." Dilbert says, "You dropped this little book titled 'Attractive Women's Secret Guide to Avoiding Dilbert.'" Dilbert says, "Wait a minute! I KNEW there had to be some kind of conspiracy!!" Dilbert opens the book and says, "If I can break this code, it will cripple their entire operation!" The woman shouts into a walkie talkie, "Mayday!!! Mayday!!!" Dilbert points at the woman and says, "Dogbert, sic!!!" Dogbert replies, "Sick? No, but my nose is a bit dry . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bearer, #bad news, #doctor, #six months to live, #nose job, #mix up, #hospital, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

A man lies in a hospital bed with a bandage on his nose. Dogbert stands on the bed and says, "Your doctor asked me to tell you that you have six months to live." The patient says, "There must be a mistake. I'm here for a nose job." Dogbert checks a document and says, "Oh, you're right . . . I wondered why that last guy was so happy when I told him he'd have one huge nostril for the next forty years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #signed ted card, #stamp, #congratualations, #death, #Family, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a greeting card and says, "Let's see... it looks like you haven't signed Ted's card yet." Alice is sitting at her computer and glares. Alice slams a rubber stamp down on the card. Dilbert looks at the card and says, "Do you think 'congratulations' is appropriate for a death in his family?" Alice says, "You never know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flu, #germs, #fly through air, #sneezed, #tissue, #sick, #ill, #contagious, #office illness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

An unnamed flunky says, "Don't worry about my flu, Alice. Germs don't fly through the air." He sneezes so hard his tissue is blown out of his hand. Aachooo! He looks at Alice and says, "Remember, germs don't fly through the air." ALice's hair is pushed back as if in the middle of a wind storm. She pushes up her sleeves, preparing to punch the guy and says, "Yours are gonna."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fertility drugs, #coffee, #tabloids, #million dollars, #doctor, #agent, #Advice, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally looking at a bloated Dilbert. Dilbert says, "My dog put fertility drugs in my coffee." Dilbert continues, "At first I was mad. Then the tabloids offered me a million dollars for my story." Wally inquires, "Have you seen a doctor?" Dilbert replies, "My agent advises against that."