Medical School Comic Strips - Page 8
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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Grim Reaper enters and says, "Gilbert, your time has come." Dilbert says as beads of sweat fly off his forehead, "Gilbert?! My name is DILBERT! You have the wrong guy!" The Grim Reaper says, "Oops! Sorry. Mind if I just wait around until your number comes up?"
Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"
Dilbert sits in his chair and the Grim Reaper sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "So since my time ISN'T up, all you can do is wait around?" The Grim Reaper replies, "Basically." Dilbert says, "Well, as long as you're here, let me tell you about my recent trip to the Fresno Raisin Festival. It all started . . ." The Grim Reaper says as he leaves Dilbert's house, "My mistake. Guys like you live forever."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."
Dilbert sits on an examining table holding his arm. A man with a stethoscope says, "Here at the 'Jiffy Med Center' we do everything to keep your health costs down." The man continues, "In fact, none of us has any medical training so they pay us almost nothing." Dilbert asks, "Why do you do it?" The man grasps the stethoscope and replies, "I like putting this cold thing on naked people."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to open a vocational training school." Dilbert asks, "For whom?" Dogbert replies, "Self-service gas station attendants." Dilbert asks, "You mean, students will pay you to teach them how to sit and do nothing?" Dogbert replies, "It makes you wonder why nobody is already doing it."
Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Welcome to Dogbert's School for aspiring Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." Dogbert continues, "I will teach you how to sit in a little building and do nothing." Dogbert continues, "These same skills can be transferred to a career in Congress or Fotomat." A student says, "Really? Fotomat?!"
Dogbert stands in front of several men and says, "Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants will not be easy." Dogbert says, "Phillips! What would you do if a customer couldn't figure out how to use the pumps?" Phillips answers, "Nothing. It's self-service." The man sitting next to him thinks, "Great . . . there goes the curve."